Why does shit like this happen to me? (This is my version of the “dark and stormy” night opening as a literary device.)

My wife and I were out to dinner and having our usually jolly time. Things were clicking. My jokes were firing on all cylinders. I was witty. Our repartee was fast and furious on a highly intellectual level.

As we exited the restaurant I was feeling pretty good. (It could happen.) I saw four people behind us. They were far enough back that I could have let the door close and no slight would have been perceived. I decided to be nice and waited to hold open the door.

They came through single file. As she passed, the first person actually said, I kid you not, “Thank you.”

Wow. It’s a modern day miracle. I’m now that much closer to sainthood. I was momentarily stunned and at a loss for words. As quickly as I could I responded with, “You’re welcome.”

Oops. By then the third person was already walking by. She heard what I said and turned and looked at me. With dagger eyes. Of hatred and death.

Ah. She thought I was talking to her and assumed I was being snotty because she decidedly did not bother to say thank you.

Good intentions: 0. Crass misunderstandings: 1.

Bad form, Mr. Smee. Bad form.

And now some politeness tips from yours truly.
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