Tag Archives: offense

Intentionally What?

exploding-glassI can be naked in front of my cat without being self-conscious. I am secure in how my cat feels about me and I know that there isn’t any judgement or opinion there. Just pure love. And the feeling is mutual.

Then I worry. What if heaven exists? And what if I get there and find that my cat is waiting for me. And what if she can talk and we have fantastic conversations? And what if one day she says, “Hey, dude. You know all those times you undressed in front of me and I meowed? That was cat language for ‘ugly naked.’ We were trying to get you to stop torturing us. True story.”

I don’t think I would like that. Yeah, like I need more things to worry about.

The point is: Can you ever know what someone else is really thinking? And even when they tell you outright they’re still probably lying. It’s what we humans do.

So why should it matter what they think?

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Offended

It’s Christmas morning. A time for quiet reflection. A time for pondering the meaning of life and the enormity of space, time and the universe.

It’s also a time to wonder why I didn’t prepare a blog post in advance. Ouch. That’s unpleasant. Let’s avoid those thoughts.

I find myself thinking about offense.

What is it to be offended? I have given this some thought and I’ve decided it is my innate reaction to the actions of other people that are actions I would never do myself.
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A recent knight of pawnography

Wouldn’t you prefer a nice game of Global Thermonuclear War?

Later. Let’s play chess.

Here’s a little post for all you chess buffs out there. It’s an annotated record of an enjoyable game I recently played. Consider it a rare glimpse into the way I think. Even if you’re not a chess geek, hopefully you’ll still find this post interesting. I’ll try to dumb it down a little so most of you will hopefully be able to follow along.

Let’s play!

Tom B. Taker (white) vs. IBM’s* Pompous Purple (black)
2011
Game One

1. e5
White starts the game and immediately threatens a clever “book” opening

1…e6
Holy shit, apparently he’s read that book

2. Nf3
Here I magically “jump” other pieces to intimidate my opponent (but I was hoping to spring that surprise later)

2…Nc6
Damn, he hasn’t pooped his pants yet

3. Nc3
Reap the whirlwind, sucker – you can’t even begin to imagine all of the L-shaped possibilities now

3…Nf6!!
Crap, I’m seriously outmatched – this bastard came ready to play

White resigns
0-1

Mark my words, there will be a rematch. Revenge will be mine! We’ll see how he deals with the Abyssian Offense. That’s my own personal gambit based on body odor, although it usually works best against human opponents in very tight quarters.

* IBM stands for Itty Bitty Machines. Not affiliated with International Business Machines (IBM) Corp.

Chess diagram images were created using the Chess Diagram Generator.