Creeper
Who is Woody Allen? I was curious so I did a little checking. Without my usual eloquent elaboration here are some basic facts I learned.
Woody Allen got married for the first time in 1954 to Harlene Rosen. He was 19 and she was 16. The marriage took place in California with the blessing of Harlene’s parents. Reportedly it was Allen’s parents who were more resistant to the joining.
The marriage lasted about five years. After the divorce, Allen referred to Harlene as “the dread Mrs. Allen” in his comedy act and she sued him for defamation regarding comments he made on TV.
Later, when Allen was in a relationship with Mia Farrow, who he never married, he was discovered (while they were still a couple) with nude photographs he had taken of Soon-Yi Previn, Farrow’s adopted daughter who was about 19 years old at the time.
Later, Allen described Farrow’s discovery of the photographs as “one of the great pieces of luck” in his life. Allen later denied this series of events was a “scandal.”
What was the scandal? I fell in love with this girl, married her. We have been married for almost 15 years now. There was no scandal, but people refer to it all the time as a scandal and I kind of like that in a way because when I go I would like to say I had one real juicy scandal in my life.
Source: Reuters
After the relationship with Farrow ended, Allen was free to pursue Soon-Yi Previn. Allen was 57 and Soon-Yi was reportedly about 19. They were married about five years later in 1997 and remain married to this day. There is a 35-year difference in ages.
When asked about the age difference, Allen famously shrugged it off, saying, “The heart wants what the heart wants.”
Sexpresso: What part of ho don’t you understand?
Lookin' for a little coffee on girl action, honey?
If you thought fresh coffee spilled in your lap was enough to make you hot then get a load of this! Sexpresso. Say it with me. Sexpresso. The word just rolls off the tongue.
Sexpresso has been around for a while, but apparently it’s still too new for Wikipedia. No “sexpresso” page yet. I think this would be a rewarding project. Anyone want to help me publish one? Maybe launching a new Wikipedia page is my calling for 2010. I just knew I was going to do something significant for humanity this year. 🙂
Sexpresso is the term for a coffee stand that promotes a risque motiff featuring scantily clad baristas. Up in the Pacific Northwest drive-thru coffee stands are ubiquitous. Who knew that paying $3.25 for a cup of coffee could ever become such a booming business? The competition is fierce and sexpresso is a practice that started somewhere in the vicinity of Seattle, Washington, as one way to stand out from the crowd.
My town doesn’t have any sexpresso stands, but I’ve heard that it’s just your regular overpriced coffee served up by cute young women who may or may not have some coffee making skills who want to make fast money. The “barista” pictured on the left says she makes more in tips then she ever did as a waitress working at Hooters. (Click the image for the story.) They grow up so fast, don’t they?
I wonder if I wore a bikini to work if I’d make more in tips? Hmmm. Dammit, where is the outrage about my glass ceiling!
Sexpresso is popular. Bill Geist from CBS Sunday Morning even did a story about it way back in 2007. And it seems it has gotten bigger and bolder and sassier and slutier since then.
What do you like with your coffee? A little cream and sugar. Passé! Shots of Irish creme or Kahlua? Come on! Whiskey? Get real!
These days the proper accoutrements for your morning shot of joe are a bit more sophisticated. You probably won’t be surprised to learn that these sexpresso baristas have been pushing things to the limit as the competition heats up. The oldskool approach was to lean in on the customer when handing over the beverage to provide a few choice seconds of a maximized cleavage shot, just a quick bit of harmless fun that really enlarged the size of tips. (Heh.)
These days, though, cleavage is for wimps. How about a “booty shake” with your coffee? Or a pole dance? Yes, a stripper pole in a coffee stand. Wow. Other types of behavior that have been reported at some sexpresso stands: Boobie flashes, tramp-stamped baristas licking whipped cream from each others bodies, and posing nude for pictures. Come to think of it, I do like overpriced coffee after all!
The city of Everett, Washington, and Snomish County, Washington, have already enacted laws that treat sexpresso stands as adult businesses. On Tuesday, January 19th, the City Council in Yakima, Washington, voted 4-3 instructing city lawyers to draft new regulations to treat sexpresso stands as adult businesses. (Read the story here.)
Why does there always have to be a Scrooge? 🙂
Pardon me – do you have any Gay Prejean?
Pop Quiz: What is better than one Carrie Prejean?
Prejean, the former Miss California, prays that eight is enough. Yes, it is now being reported by RadarOnline.com that there are eight so-called “sex tapes.” Prejean has admitted to one sex tape that allegedly contains footage of her masturbating for a friend. Prejean says she was 17 years old when the tape was made, but the man who received the tape said she was 20. Presumably Prejean is trying to establish a time-line that doesn’t make her out to be a liar concerning statements she made on contest documents.
I imagine this has been a hard week for Prejean. She probably isn’t feeling too gay right about now. (Gay is a synonym for “happy.” It’s true! If you don’t believe me go look it up for yourself.)
I wrote about this before but I have some additional thoughts. And, to be quite honest, I needed an excuse to justify another blog post on this topic and use what I think is a hilarious headline. If this blog accomplishes nothing else – at least I amuse myself!
- Prejean is a real person with real feelings. I appreciate that and I can only imagine what’s she’s been through. It can’t have been very pleasant. Yes, she’s famous now and appearing on TV shows a lot more than me, but at what price?
- Prejean is entitled to her opinion. I actually stand behind her right to support “opposite marriage.”
- Being against same-sex marriage doesn’t make her bad or automatically mean that she hates gay people.
- I personally feel it is sick and wrong to mutilate a healthy (and beautiful) human body by augmenting the size of your breasts, but that is only my opinion. There is nothing wrong if Prejean decides that is right for her. It’s her decision.
- I think anyone taking performance enhancing drugs should be kicked out of Major League Baseball for life. Period. And I don’t think augmented breasts belong in beauty contests – ever. Just my opinion. These “beauty pageants” are a bunch of bullshit to begin with, but if you’re going to have them, at least try to maintain some semblance of reality.
- Prejean has a right to her sexuality. There’s nothing wrong with making a “sex tape” (whatever that means) as long as all parties involved are of legal age and voluntarily consent. Nude photos and sex tapes don’t make her a bad person.
Whew. I’m glad I got that all off my chest. That said, I can’t help but feel that Prejean lives in a “glass house.” She throws stones by saying what other people should be allowed to do (or not) based on her personal religious beliefs. Then she has a private life that would seem to be at least somewhat opposed to those same sorts of morals by her own standards. (Not mine.)
There is one very important lesson to be learned here. If you are a beautiful young woman and want to do something sexy and fun like make sex tapes for that certain special someone, be aware that if you ever become famous, the probability that those tapes will be sold and made available to the whole wide world is about one hundred percent.
In closing, here’s a YouTube video that uses some delicate subtlety to make a point about the Prejean situation. (She screws up the punchline at the very end but you know what she means.) Enjoy!
Shouts from the Abyss 
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