Tag Archives: nomination

Shouts From The Abyss wins Hall of Fame

golden-poopMEDIA RELEASE

Shouts From The Abyss blog selected to the Shouts From The Abyss Hall of Fame

By Tom B. Taker
November 6, 2013

Abyssia City, The Abyss – After nauseating audiences continually since September, 2009, the Shouts From The Abyss (SFTA) blog is the 2013 selection to the Shouts From The Abyss Hall of Fame. This is the first nomination for the blog. This is the inaugural year for the Hall of Fame itself.

The selection committee, consisting solely of blogger Tom B. Taker, cast the deciding ballot for SFTA. The vote was unanimous.

Blog publisher, Tom B. Taker, was visibility shaken upon hearing the news. “You love me,” he said to himself. “You really love me.”

In a short ceremony in an undisclosed office/bedroom, Taker appeared in his underwear to accept the award. He was accompanied by two cats, El Guapo Picard Tutankhamun Taker and Tilly Taker.

Initially Taker refused the award, stating repeatedly, “I didn’t do it” and referred to his policy that prohibits acceptance of anything imported from Nigeria. He eventually capitulated, though, and proudly accepted the traditional Golden Poop of the Abyss. He then angrily yelled “get out” bringing the festivities to a close. No legitimate media attended the event.

A spokesperson for the Hall of Fame selection committee later announced that the program is being disbanded. Taker will be given 14 days to surrender the award.

Contact

Tom B. Taker, Media Relations
C/O Shouts From The Abyss Hall of Fame
1212 Sewertown Rd. Ste. SQRT(-1)
Office: Food Cart

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Should schools teach Rick Perry?

Yee-haw!

Most of this post was written Tuesday morning before Iowa caucuses got around to doing their thing…

Somewhere out there, right now, as I write this post, Rick Perry is in Iowa. He has dropped to the deck to flop like a fish. And he’s saying inane shit like, “I don’t have any doubt that if it is just me and Mitt Romney who the Republican primary voter is going to pick all across this country. They are going to pick the true, authentic conservative, not a conservative of convenience that Mitt Romney is.”

He also said he feels “very good” about his chances in Iowa today.

Isn’t it cute? It thinks it can win. It puts the lotion on its skin.
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