Survivor: Abyss Island – Day 36 Immunity Challenge
Abyss Island: S1E12 – A Good Day To Cry Hard
And so it comes down to this. Day 36 and only three days to go. I figured my next challenge was going to be for a brand new car! Okay, so I was only slightly off on that score.
With the end of the tunnel now in sight, Survivors have to remain cognizant that challenge difficulty is going to be ramped up. This is where the best of the best truly shine and the people like me go home empty handed.
Tree mail, like always, sounded the just right ominous tone:
At first you won’t be able to see
You won’t think it’s fair, but it is to me
Next you will find it puzzling to see
But the picture will be clear to me
Get it together for all to see
If you lose you will have to submit to me
Oh, great. A blindfold challenge and a puzzle. All the best elements of Survivor. Not. This does not bode well for me. Am I mistaken or does the word “submit” ring out just like the creep duh-duh music from the movie Jaws?
To top it off my wife spent all day taunting me. “Are you practicing, Tom? Big challenge tonight.” Practicing what? Being blindfolded? And how does one practice for a freaking puzzle, smart ass?
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Survivor: Abyss Island – Day 33 Reward Challenge
Abyss Island: S1E11 – They’re Gonna Put Me In The Movies / A Night To Dismember
Last night was a heady time on Abyss Island. Lots of comings and goings and what nots and so forths. It was almost too much for a lonely rice-eating bean-eating castaway to deal with. Almost.
It was Day 33 of 39 of my exile from deliciousness. The agenda for the evening included a reward challenge and then watching some weenies on TV try to duplicate my greatness. Ha!
Dinner consisted of, you guess it, a serving a plain white rice. I was out of beans. (They got replenished this morning and the crock pot is crocking them.)
Tree mail hinted at the promise of a reward:
Keep your eye on the ball
Try not to fall
Keep your balance true
And you’ll be A-mazed when you’re thru
Hmm. Sounds like one of those marble labyrinth thingies. Finally! A nice relaxing challenge.
Never underestimate the viciousness of the host.
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Survivor: Abyss Island – Splurge and Reward
Abyss Island: S1E9 – Splurge for Super Bowels Into Reward Darkness
Dear Diary: I’m shaken by a vision of a well-protected note safely ensconced in the loving embrace of a pristine bottle and sealed with a cork. A note that contains my innermost thoughts protected against the ravages of time for all humanity to benefit.
Such luxury! Bottle? Pfffft! Cork? Pffft! Note? Pfffft!
For 27 days I have been
lampooned marooned on this above-sea-level pile of sharp rocks. I barely have the energy to scratch this message using my own blood with the tip of a seagull quill on the back of a crab shell. Urgency compels me onward even in the face of certain defeat. It’s not like I have anything better to do.
I’m still exhausted from what felt like near rescue at the time. I did the You Can’t Touch This dance on the beach for a passing ship. Hopes quickly dashed to nopes as the ship failed to take notice of my Herculean gyrations. No, I don’t think I can dance.
If I ever get out of this mess I swear to you that I will enact a law that requires all ships on horizons to carefully observe the islands they pass within shouting distance. Seems like only good form.
I just had another vision, this time one of terrible darkness. That reminds me. It’s time to watch the Super Bowel.
Survivor: Abyss Island – Day 12 Reward Challenge
Be sure to take this post with a grain of salt. I know I will.
What can I say about the Abyss Island Survivor journey as of Day 12? Variety is the spice of life and I’m damn short on variety.
Nothing but plain white rice, red beans, and fruit. Let me emphasize the word “plain.” That means no spices. No soy sauce. No pepper. Not even a single grain of salt. You ever eaten totally plain beans and rice before? The word bland can’t do justice experience. 1. Put the nutrient matter in mouth. 2. Masticate. 3. Swallow. 4. Repeat.
For fun I punched my daily diet into the computer. It said I was reaching 5 mg of my recommended daily allowance of 1,500 mg of sodium. Hells, yeah, I’m now a real Survivor!
Then came another one of those damned clever pieces of tree mail from my
Probst baby. Reward challenge #2 was eminent and it cryptically hinted at the tantalizing possibilities:
Now you see it
Now you don’t
Oh there it is
Oh no it’s not
Think real hard
Think real fast
It’s what you’ve been wanting
If you lose it’ll be most haunting
Unlike previous tree mails, this one I studied carefully for hints. I suspected some sort of memory challenge was afoot.
The phrase “what you’ve been wanting” was dizzying. What had I been bitching about the most? Spices. What that just a hint of sodium in the air?
I could sense the winds of change were heading my way.
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Survivor: Abyss Island – Day 8 Immunity Challenge
The day before the challenge, on Day 7, I found a small tomato in tree mail. It was about the size of a handball. A gift from the Survivor gods. I cooked it with rice for my evening meal. It is the only thing to break up the monotony of rice, beans and fruit since this thing started. Whoa. A dash of flavor! What a concept!
On Saturday, Day 8, I faced down my first immunity challenge. Toting my torch, tribal flag, and sporting my buff, I departed camp for the appointed place at the appointed time. The living room. Whew. What a hike.
I was feeling no small amount of trepidation due to the humiliating drubbing I’d suffered at the previous reward challenge which was still very much fresh in my mind. Also, I had yet to find the hidden immunity idol so I was feeling at risk. Even in spite of being provided with a very illuminating clue: “It’s somewhere on Earth.” Yeah, that’s helpful. At least it saves me the bother of searching Uranus.
According to the official rules of Survivor: Abyss Island if I won the immunity challenge I’d take home the immunity idol and be safe for another week. If I lost I’d go immediately to tribal council where I’d be bullied and badgered by the host prior to something known as “sentencing.” Knowing my wife that had a very ominous ring to it.
I arrived at the challenge to find my
Probst wife standing next a chair covered in a confusing web of rope. Dammit, she is a student of the game.
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