Michael Vick’s birthday bash goes to the dogs
Geez, can’t a guy get a break even on his birthday?
Michael Vick attended his 30th birthday bash recently. While there, one of his long time buddies all the way back from their high school days got shot in the leg. I guess he just attracts the good times.
Vick then showed his scrambling skills by repeatedly claiming, “I had nothing to that incident.” Police, however, have failed to rule out anyone as a suspect at the “party,” including Vick.
Apparently Vick also charged admission to his party. NFL salaries are hard to live on, eh?
Hell, my 30th birthday was just a bit of ice cream and cake.
Michael Vick’s Hail Mary to Atlanta
File this one in the, “Wow. All I can say is, wow!” department.
When we last heard from our hero The Vick he was courageously accepting an award from his teammates recognizing his tremendous “courage.”
On Feb. 10th Vick told an Atlanta radio station that during his time with the Atlanta Falcons he had been “complacent” and “lazy” and that he “settled for mediocrity.”
Booyah!
Game, set, match. Or touchdown. Or whatever. Take that, Atlanta. Your move, creep. While Vick was supposed to be the “future” of the franchise he was complacent, lazy and mediocre. Nicely done. I guess the animal cruelty stuff was just the sprinkles on top.
Also, Vick’s reality TV show premiered earlier this month on Feb. 2nd. “The Michael Vick Project,” a 10-episode docu-series, is airing every Tuesday at 10 p.m. on BET. If you are simply too busy to go through the hassle of selling your soul to the devil then be sure to tune in. The show is an method of arranging your own self-service purgatory before cashing your ticket for a bus ride to Hell. Personally I’d at least attempt to leverage a fiddle made of gold out of the deal, but that’s just me.
The courage of Michael Vick
Poor Michael Vick. This poor little victim of circumstance has been put through the school of hard knocks and then some.
Finally, he is getting the kind of positive recognition and accolades he deserves.
Vick’s teammates on the Philadelphia Eagles recently voted, as a team, to give the beleaguered quarterback the Ed Block “Courage” Award.
By all means, let us celebrate the “courage” of Michael Vick. Is it the “courage” to face that what you did was wrong and that you’ve repented? Not exactly. It’s more like the “courage” to say, “Hey, come on now. It’s in the past. Can’t we move on? Let’s leave the past behind.” Right on, Vick!
If there is one thing the NFL does well it is promoting the type of values we can all appreciate and enjoy.
The Ed Block Courage Award Foundation on its web site says it “is dedicated to improving the lives of neglected children and ending the cycle of abuse.” I can’t think of a better spokesperson for that than Michael Vick. What has Vick done in the area of child abuse? Nothing that I’ve ever heard of.
Who was Ed Block? According to the foundation web site, he was “the longtime head athletic trainer of the Baltimore Colts who was a pioneer in his profession and a respected humanitarian.” Again, that sounds like a perfect match for Vick.
Fuck you, NFL!
Michael Vick barks that he’d like to be sacked from Eagles
Michael Vick (who I’ve written about before) was back in the news this week.
First, it seems some comments he made about his new team, the Philadelphia Eagles, have been interpreted by some as Vick saying he is “disgruntled” with his situation with the Eagles. Keep in mind that this is the same team that gave him a chance to get back in the game after he spent 18 months in jail for bankrolling a dogfighting ring.
Regarding the prospects of returning to play for the Philadelphia Eagles next year, Vick had this to say:
“It would be hard. It would be an everyday struggle. But I would have to take that time to hone my skills and get better. I’m excited about the opportunity I have moving forward whether it’s with Philadelphia or another team.”
Not exactly what you would call enthusiasm for your employer, eh? Especially when the current season is only about half-way done. And keep in mind that he’s being paid $1.6 million for 2009 and the Eagles have the option of picking him up in 2010 for $5.2 million. He has the balls to poop on that? Wow.
Of course when interviewed later he back-peddled from his earlier comments in true NFL quarterback/dog enthusiast style, saying that his only concern right now is helping the Eagles win a Super Bowl and not on where he’ll be playing next year. Right.
The Eagles want Vick to play out of something called the Wildcat formation. (I have no clue what that is.) Think of this situation as an employer telling an employee, “I’ll pay you money and this is what I want you to do.” Vick’s response? “I won’t be a Wildcat guy. I can’t. It’s a different style of play. It’s almost like a hit-or-miss type of thing. My position is quarterback. That’s what I was born to do.”
You just can’t fake true class like that. Thanks for giving me a job but I won’t do it, won’t like it, I’ll bitch about it to the press, and I’ll undermine my teammates while the current season is still underway. I mean, come on! Who wouldn’t want this guy on their team?
The second bit of Vick news is that a federal court ruled that Vick can keep $16 million in bonuses from his former team, the Atlanta Falcons, even though he wasn’t available to play and earn those bonuses because his ass was in jail. I’ve got to try that sometime. Spend two years in jail, get out, then tell my boss I want the Christmas bonuses I missed paid in full. That would be a nice gig.
Lastly, I haven’t seen anything new about Vick’s reality TV show to air on BET that will document has “trials” and “tribulations.” I’m keeping my ear to the ground on that one. Maybe we’ll learn more soon.
One thing I have in common with NFL quarterback Michael Vick
I have found a tenuous shred of commonality between myself and Michael Vick:
… Vick [has] not served one minute in prison for animal cruelty …
Yep. It’s true. I’ve never been in prison for animal cruelty. And neither has Vick, the man that the NFL has seen fit to reinstate.
Of course, the commonalities end there. I’m a decent human being.
Some people think Vick did his time for “dogfighting” but I don’t know if they realize that the scope of his actions went a little beyond that.
In the words of one woman who responded to Vick’s property to assess and help 47 dogs:
The details that got to me then and stay with me today involve the swimming pool that was used to kill some of the dogs. Jumper cables were clipped onto the ears of under performing dogs, then, just like with a car, the cables were connected to the terminals of car batteries before lifting and tossing the shamed dogs into the water. Most of Vick’s dogs were small – 40 lbs or so – so tossing them in would’ve been fast and easy work for thick athlete arms. We don’t know how many suffered this premeditated murder, but the damage to the pool walls tells a story. It seems that while they were scrambling to escape, they scratched and clawed at the pool liner and bit at the dented aluminum sides like a hungry dog on a tin can.
Wow. That is fucking gruesome.
According to eye-witness testimony, Vick laughed as he watched pets being mauled by animals from his “Bad Newz Kennels”:
The witness said Vick and co-defendants Purnell Peace and Quanis Phillips “thought it was funny to watch the pit bull dogs belonging to Bad Newz Kennels injure or kill the other dogs.”
It is true that Vick served 18 months in prison, but that was for “bankrolling a dogfighting conspiracy,” not animal cruelty. Charges of animal cruelty were dropped in exchange for a plea bargain.
Now he’s back in the NFL with the Philadelphia Eagles where he’s seen play time in five games so far this season.
Meanwhile, it was reported on October 9th by the Washington Post that BET has picked up the rights to a reality TV show scheduled for 2010 that will document the “trials and tribulations” of Vick. BET won’t say how much Vick is to be paid, but he is listed as one of the executive producers of the series.
BET hopes the series “will give viewers a glimpse of how he is rebuilding his life and moving forward as a human being and not just another sports figure.”
I just decided to boycott the NFL and BET. I’m sure they’ll miss me.
Shouts from the Abyss 
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