Tag Archives: liquor

That’s no bar! It’s a playground!

moon-shirtWe are required by the Department Of Redundancy Department to post this public notice: We reserve the right to redundantly repeat topic coverage as we see fit. It is no accident if this content feels familiar. Also, we repeat coverage of certain topics on purpose. It’s our way. –Ed.

Since the dawn of time philosophers have debated, “What is a bar? What is a restaurant?” Sometimes there are no easy answers. There can be a very fine line between “bar” and “restaurant.”

So what?! Who gives a shit?! What’s in a name?!

Mainly the presence of shitloads of filthy little varmints. That makes this issue one of no small consequence.

As always I will cover all points of view as if to give the reader an understanding of the issue. I will be fair. I will be impartial. I will be partially inebriated.

Also, as always, illumination will be provided by Wikipedia:

A bar is a retail business establishment that serves alcoholic drinks — beer, wine, liquor, and cocktails — for consumption on the premises.

A restaurant is a business which prepares and serves food and drink to customers in return for money …

There we were in a mystery business of some sort. Was it a “bar” or a “restaurant?” Let’s find out. It’s Litmus Test Time boys and girls!

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Drunk Plank

shot-glass-and-car-keysWhy do we tolerate? Why do we, as a society, utterly lack the spine to properly address the problem of drunk driving? Our inaction is basically a way of saying, “We accept the loss of innocent lives as an irrationality inherent in the system and one that we are powerless or unwilling to prevent.”

We are not powerless. More can and should be done. All we have to do is defeat the apathy that comes along with “it hasn’t affected me personally … yet.”

Some basic stats:

  • Each day, people drive drunk almost 300,000 times, but fewer than 4,000 are arrested.1
  • In 2011, 226 children were killed in drunk driving crashes. Of those, 122 (54% percent) were riding with the drunk driver.1
  • Since 1982 fatalities have decreased by 51%. Since 1991 they’ve declined by 35%. However, fatalities increased from 2011 to 2012.2
  • There are about 9,000 to 10,000 fatalities per year due to drunk driving in the United States.2
  1. Source: MADD – Statistics
  2. Source: The Foundation for Advancing Alcohol Responsibility

The other day I was reading about a famous U.S. bicyclist who traveled the world and “supported the message of peace” and had been killed while bicycling in Russia. Ron McGerity, age 60, had visited 61 countries over the past 15 years and logged more than 75,000 miles on his bike. He was hit and killed by a truck driver who fled the scene and was later located and suspected by police of being drunk. (Source: RT.)

In a different case, a young mother was killed by a drunk driver leaving two young children behind. The drunk driver also survived.

Far too many innocent lives are lost. Far too many innocent lives are irrevocably affected.

So why is this still such a problem? I believe it’s because we don’t do enough to stop it.
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Jane’s RAOK birthday present

CocktailsDon’t blame me. Jane started it! Neener, neener!

It seems she didn’t want a birthday present. Oh no! That would have been too easy.

Instead she went and challenged a bunch of folks to commit (that seems like a good word) so-called random acts of kindness. Also known as RAOK.

She even had the sheer audacity to include me. Never challenge a Guru!

Of course, this was some time ago. Way back in December. And I’ve been struggling with it ever since.

How does one do this? Random? I’m fairly okay with that. But kindness? What is this strange word?

I didn’t want to do the stereotypical drive-thru thing. “I’ll pay for the quadruple-bypass-burger for the car behind me.” No, that didn’t feel right.

This had to be big. Monumental. Maybe even something I’d never done before.

I’d almost completely given up. It had dropped out of my mind with nary a second thought. And then …

BarLast Friday night I found myself on a road trip with the wife. Literally in the middle of nowhere we pulled over at a secluded lodge for some dinner. It was a little after 7pm. We asked if it was too late to eat and were shown to a nice spot in a completely empty dining room. Ah, one of my favorite things. We had the place to ourselves.

We had a nice dinner, albeit overpriced no doubt due to the secluded location.

During the meal I heard a din from the bar. It seems there was a conversation with a decidedly negative tone regarding dogs. (I prefer cats.) It caught my attention.

I leaned in to my wife and whispered, “Hey. I just had an idea. You hear what they’re saying about dogs?” She nodded. “I’m going to buy the whole bar a round of drinks! At last, Jane will get her birthday present.”

draught beer #6746When the waitress came round again, we told her no, we didn’t need any dessert, but there was one more thing. “I want to buy a round for everyone in the bar.” She took a little convincing but she finally did it.

We could hear the response from the bar. It was time to get the hell out of Dodge before something happened like drunken gratitude. I made a dash to escape but the waitress caught me.

Pulling me by my ear, my wife and I were kidnapped to the bar and forced to … shudder … mingle! I know! The Guru never mingles. Ever.

Long story short, we got to meet some people, including the married couple who owned the lodge, and, dare I say it? I actually had a good time. In a bit of good karma, we also picked up safety tips on the drive ahead. It seems a log had fallen on the curvy road and sent a truck driver to the hospital. We were extra cautious when we got back on the road.

So I sincerely hope that Jane likes this humble little present. I even picked up a story in the bargain. Now I can regale uninterested people with the tale of how I bought a round of drinks for an entire bar of strangers. And lived through it.

Best karaoke song of all time

YouTube wouldn't let me embed and all I got was this stupid tshirtYouTube. The best way ever to look in vain for video content that used to be there but has since been rendered “unavailable” for one reason or another. Looking down my “Favorites” this morning I was suddenly struck by the sheer number of them marked as “video unavailable.” Well ain’t that just a barrel o’ fun?

Luckily, though, timeless classics like Robot Pac-Man and How to Eat a Chicken Wing somehow dodged the bullet and still remain. 🙂

Here’s a favorite of mine that is still online and just happens to be the best karaoke song of all-time. Plug of a few slugs of hard liquor in me and I’ll get jiggy with this song ever freakin’ time.

Radiohead – Creep

Of course, “embedding disabled by request” for this video. Isn’t sharing content fun?

Credit shouts: Tshirt image generated using the Custom TShirt Generator.

Musical interlude: Suburbia

Here it is, my first embedding of a YouTube.com video as a cheap ass way of justifying another post. Meh.

I just adore these lyrics. Good stuff.

The band featured in this video is the Rugburns. I used to see them live in San Diego at the Blarney Stone Pub. Good times! They are a fantastic “bar band.” And I used to live in El Cajon, California, not far from the location of Hiram’s Guns and Liquor famously mentioned in this song, so this video has a lot of deep, personal meaning for me.


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