Surprise! You are a guest blog!
Today I shot my wife an email and asked, simply, “How did it go?”
I try to be coy in emails that pass through “company-owned email servers.” Fuck ’em! Never include more information than necessary. Ever. I also refer to people by a single letter. It’s up to my wife to grok the meaning.
And that she did just fine.
Somehow she knew that I was asking about her trip to the DMV. I loved her reply so much I decided to make it a guest post. I plan to offer a reading of this at poet’s corner down at the beatnik place one night soon. Enjoy!
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Word Association Demonstration
With righteous indignation and without provocation, I will strive to cause vexation in response to your supplication.
I shall swallow irritation to cause infuriation, exasperation, and with any luck, a pulsation of altercation.
Thanks for witnessing this commination demonstration.
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Something good happened at the grocery store
It’s only 11 a.m. and I already did my good deed for the day. Wha???
Did I mention it’s cold where I work? I think in three or four posts I may have mentioned it’s cold enough in the offices here to hang sides of beef and invite Rocky in for a training session. So I was sitting here and realized I need to bring my core temperature up or I was going to die. I went to microwave a cup of hot water then, oh no – I’m out of tea bags!
I went and got permission to take a little break early (a dicey proposition but it worked out) and hit the grocery store that is about five blocks away.
I grabbed my tea bags and went to checkout. Naturally only one line was open and there were so many people waiting that the line essentially split in three directions. It was a dragon with three heads. I got a lot of skunk eye when I approached, like people were saying, “don’t even think about it, fucker.” Good times, as always!
I got at the end of what I thought was the last person and hunkered down for what would no doubt be a long, long wait with my lonely, solitary item.
Then it happened. They opened another lane and a woman ahead of me with a heaping full cart waved me in front. I declined, saying she was clearly there first. But she was so insistent about it. She really wanted me ahead of her and wouldn’t take “no” for an answer. We went back and forth a few times to the point it was starting to feel weird and awkward. I finally gave in. It took me a moment to recognize what an odd feeling it was. Sure, I do things like that for other people all the time. But no one has ever done it for me.
What an odd sensation!
So when I was done, I had a couple bucks of change. I waved the checker over and whispered in his ear, please keep it and give it to the lady behind me and then I high-tailed it the hell out of Dodge. Yippie! Today’s good deed is a done dealio. 🙂