Tag Archives: lead

Guru Comic: A New Hopeful


When Life Gives Bullets


Up the Hatch

Richard Hatch from SurvivorHow important is it to pay your taxes? Pretty important, I’d say. Especially when failure to comply can result in more time in jail than if you shot two people in the head and killed them in cold blood.

Richard Hatch, the original winner of the TV series Survivor is back in trouble for his taxes. He turned himself in to authorities on Monday and will begin serving a nine-month sentence for violating the terms of his probation for tax evasion.

Hatch previously served a three year sentence for tax evasion. He was ordered to pay taxes on show winnings and other income but has not completed refiling of his 2000 and 2001 tax returns.

I didn’t know this, but Hatch was currently a contestant on Donald Trump’s reality show The Apprentice.

Taxes!The Donald has said he would consider helping Hatch pay his debt.

“It sounds like a very tough predicament,” Donald Trump tells PEOPLE. “I may ask him if there’s anything I can do … I may get involved and ask him what the hell is going on.”

On the current season of Apprentice, Hatch quickly made enemies of Jose Canseco and David Cassidy, who accused the reality star of shoving him. Cassidy was ultimately fired.”He wasn’t loved on set because it’s a competition but I will say he was respected,” Trump said, adding that helping Hatch pay his debt is “something I’d think about. He’s been a great character on the show.” Source.

The judge surprised even the prosecutors by adding an additional three months to Hatch’s sentence beyond the six month maximum per federal sentencing guidelines.

The IRS says Hatch owes $2 million.

Hatch will now have to pay a staggering $2 million to the IRS.

The debt includes not only his Survivor winnings, but further income he has made since appearing on the show and penalties for his evasion. Source.

Times are apparently hard for Hatch, who told the court that he’s only made about $27,000 since his release from prison in October 2009, which would put him even below my scrawny income. Hatch has been looking for work though, claiming he pursued employment in “marketing” to working on a fishing boat.

Personally, I think the judge should have been a bit more lenient. It’s not like Hatch plugged two people full of lead. If that was all he done he would have already been off probation by now.

Boss appreciation

A quick thought for today about effective managers who inspire employees to perform at the highest levels. In other words, this post is about some mythical person I’ve never met.

The pressing question of the moment: Why would our boss send a bulk email to the company’s outside suppliers and vendors expressing “appreciation” to them for their patience and understanding when dealing with us, the company’s incompetent staff – and then copy the email to every single member of said incompetent staff???

It literally boggles my mind. Dear mind, you have done been boggled.

We’ve been told ad infintum in various direct and indirect methods where we belong on the food chain, so when additional communiques of this nature come down the pike, they really hold little meaning to us. “Um, yeah,” we say. “You’ve always shown us how you feel. Repeatedly. You can keep beating all you want but that horse is already dead.”

Here is what the email said. I’m paraphrasing with poetic license from memory here:

Dear Supplier and/or Vendor,

As you know, I was out of the office recently. I want to express my appreciation to you for dealing with the impact while I was gone that took the form of extra phone calls, emails and a high error rate as our staff attempted to emulate my greatness and failed.

I want to personally assure you that I’m back at work,  although only part-time. That could change at a moment’s notice, however, as I really don’t want to be here. Someone has to keep an eye on incompetent staff and right now that burden falls on me.

–The Manager

CC: Incompetent employees

Note: I’m leaving out the misspellings and other grammatical errors that make the boss look like a high school dropout. I don’t actually have the email in front of me right now since I’m writing this post from home.

There are two things I find very telling here. First, there were no “impacts.” This is pure fiction dreamed up by the boss, apparently to satisfy a need to feel important. Laughably it’s just more evidence that the boss literally has no clue what goes on around here, and, perhaps, has a disturbing skewed perception of reality. Second, what was the point of copying staff on the email? Personally I think the email itself was a red herring. The boss had no real intention of expressing “appreciation” to anyone, much less the suppliers and vendors that he despises. He could care less about them and has said so many times in front of us. No, the email just happened to be a convenient vehicle for putting everyone down. This email was actually intended for those on the CC list, not in the TO field. I’d almost call that clever if it wasn’t so damn obvious.

This week has been a real hoot so far. I can’t wait to see what happens next. Good times, good times.