Baby You Can Drive My Truck
The batter is warmed up, in the on deck circle. I love spring. He even has his Nike batting glove on.
Everyone has a right to my opinion and I carry a toilet plunger to make sure it’s forced as deep as possible down your throat.
I’m talking about, of course, everyone on the internet. That’s pretty much what it has come down to, right?
Take, for example, a video posted two days ago on YouTube of a road rage incident described as “Redneck Road Rage” and “Instant Karma.” The video quickly went viral. As I write this post it already has over 5 million views. Wow.
Click here to be transported to a dream world of YouTube magic: Redneck Road Rage / Instant Karma
According to the description on the video, the woman was forced to disable comments after she was issued “umpteenth” death threats and called “a b!#$h/c$%t/whore/slut” a “billion” times.
Neutral Universe Theory
Behold my latest creation: Neutral Universe Theory. Or, as I like to call it, NUT.
I scientifically debated calling it Negativity Universe Theory. It would have been just as nutty. But, in the end, the word “negativity” implies a point of view and I don’t think the Universe really gives that much of a shit. Besides, like I’ve always said, recognizing that things are the way they are isn’t negative at all. It’s known as “reality.” A little place you should visit sometime.
So what’s in the Universe? Matter and energy. Like Carl Sagan said, we’re made of the same “stuff” as stars. Hand in hand with this is the Law of the Conservation of Energy which states “the total energy of an isolated system cannot change – it is said to be conserved over time.”
Therefore, the stuff in the Universe is a zero sum game. Nothing is created or destroyed. It just gets reorganized.
What else can be found in the Universe? Besides matter and energy? A core component of NUT is the belief in life and all that goes with it. Things like emotion, thought, and pain. “I hurts, therefore I exist. Sometimes I just hurts.” This is the realm of all that is not energy and is not matter. It’s something else.
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Free Dom
They say a great photograph should tell a story. I’m here to prove them wrong!
Or, in my own inimitable manner, I’ll present a series of photographs that tell a great story.
This is a tale of karma, good intentions, and the ups and downs of a single day within the Abyss. For the purposes of this post, we’ll be using the double-entry system of karma accounting. That system requires two entries for every transaction, a debit and a credit.
How does our tale end? Meh. I’m rather neutral about it.
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Bad Things, Gerbil Sings, Awful Wings
Sometimes bad things happen to awful people. Sometimes awful things happen to bad people. Which is worse? Which is better? Which is more entertaining? It really comes down to a judgement call. We all see things in our own way. Vive la difference!
Gerbil trama is no laughing matter. Until it happens to people you don’t like. Then it’s popcorn time.
What’s the point of living through extreme circumstances unless it is to gain valuable perspective that will come in handy when the shit rains down on someone else?
This is a story about some awful people I know and some brief exploits of their gerbil. Grab some shredded newspaper and get comfortable. It’s story time.
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No Polo – Lotto Luck
Photo credit: Tom B. Taker. Click to enlarge.
Do not bring up politics. Do not bring up politics. Do not bring up politics.
Ah, shit. I just pooched it three times.
There’s no place like home.
Laying in bed this morning I was thinking about my next blog post. I decided whatever the cost, it must not be about politics. So I decided to burst into song:
Tax cuts on the rich and hikes for the poor (no polo)
And you don’t want to endure years more four (no polo)
Spend your days fighting the right to abort (no polo)
Traders taking loses because their positions are short (no polo)
Or, maybe not.
Without further ado, the topic for today’s post is: The Lotto. (We writers call this a “segue.”)
My hypothesis: Each of us is born with X amount of “lotto luck” which we can use up in various ways. When it’s all used up, it’s gone. And when it’s all gone you win no more lotto. Evar.
I’ll illustrate with a short story about how I used up all of my lotto luck and took a major karma hit all at the same time. (I was an early multitasker.)
The wonderful content awaits just a stone’s throw away for those willing to make the jump.
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The Universe is Catty
I keep my new cat, El Guapo Picard Tutankhamen, under tight house restriction. Here he eyes the warden from his cell.
Today just a few quick thoughts on the true nature of the Universe. Even though it pains me to be the one to break the news. Yeah, right.
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Won’t you be my asshole neighbor?
For about a month now this piece of asshole flotsam has been welcoming visitors to my neighborhood.
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Shouts from the Abyss 
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