Wouldn’t you prefer a nice game of Global Thermonuclear War?
Later. Let’s play chess.
Here’s a little post for all you chess buffs out there. It’s an annotated record of an enjoyable game I recently played. Consider it a rare glimpse into the way I think. Even if you’re not a chess geek, hopefully you’ll still find this post interesting. I’ll try to dumb it down a little so most of you will hopefully be able to follow along.
Tom B. Taker (white) vs. IBM’s* Pompous Purple (black)
White starts the game and immediately threatens a clever “book” opening
Holy shit, apparently he’s read that book
Here I magically “jump” other pieces to intimidate my opponent (but I was hoping to spring that surprise later)
Damn, he hasn’t pooped his pants yet
Reap the whirlwind, sucker – you can’t even begin to imagine all of the L-shaped possibilities now
Crap, I’m seriously outmatched – this bastard came ready to play
Mark my words, there will be a rematch. Revenge will be mine! We’ll see how he deals with the Abyssian Offense. That’s my own personal gambit based on body odor, although it usually works best against human opponents in very tight quarters.
* IBM stands for Itty Bitty Machines. Not affiliated with International Business Machines (IBM) Corp.
Chess diagram images were created using the Chess Diagram Generator.
I’m too young to remember the day that Kennedy was shot. I have no memory of that day. For those that were old enough I’m told it was a day seared into their minds forever.
But I can still remember the day when Fonzie jumped the shark. It was September 20, 1977.
For some strange reason, though, I can’t even vaguely remember the plot that led to the Fonz donning his trademark leather jacket and jumping a shark on water skies. Was that a flotation belt around his waist? Decidedly uncool. And the shark was confined? Yawn.
You know what? That episode of Happy Days totally jumped the shark, yo.
That scene was so dumb that it eventually led to the phrase “jumping the shark” becoming an idiom in American English.
Idioms are off the hook, yo.
Wikipedia’s page for the phrase “jumping the shark” provides the following bit of illumination:
Jumping the shark is an idiom used to describe the moment of downturn for a previously successful enterprise. The phrase was originally used to denote the point in a television program’s history where the plot spins off into absurd story lines or unlikely characterizations. These changes were often the result of efforts to revive interest in a show whose viewership has begun to decline, usually through the employment of different actors, writers or producers.
I trust by now you see the relevance of this particular phrase to us denizens of the Abyss. Even though we don’t really have any sharks down here. All we’ve got are these bug-eyes albino newts due to the lack of sunlight.
Clearly I’ve lost my edge. It’s time to put this blog out of your misery. In this case it’s pretty clear where things went wrong. The first post. It’s been all downhill since then. Someone grab a fork.
Seriously, you’ve got to give it up for a blog that can jump the shark on the very first post, yo. I mean, it’s not a good sign when your entire existence is behind the “jumping the shark” curve, eh?
Oh wait. I just noticed the words “previously successful enterprise” in the definition. Dammit, jump the shark status denied! My bad.