Get out your lightsabers, boys and girls. It is time for a little “long time ago” and “far far away” stuff. I have decided to reveal where I live.

It’s a place that was once the capital of the Old Republic and the Galactic Empire and is currently the capital of the New Republic.

It’s a little place I like to call Coruscant.

In 2001 I left the big city and headed for a small town. I was on a personal quest for things like “voluntary simplicity” and reducing the number of possessions in my life. I wanted out of the rat race, to live a simpler and quieter life.

In these here parts, pilgrim, life can be a little different than the big city.

People don’t have their trash picked up. They burn it in their front yards or save it in their pickup trucks for that special “every other month” trip to the dump.

You don’t automatically get a doctor, either. This town has trouble recruiting physicians so if you are lucky you might be able to get on a waiting list. Otherwise you have to travel over 30 minutes away to the next biggest town.

Yet even with those and other quaint little charms, this town has some surprising big city aspects to it.

The thing about Coruscant is that the whole planet is one big city. And probably one of the most notable things about that is that it is teeming with vehicular traffic. 24/7 there are vehicles going this way and that. Busy little bees. Always somewhere to go and something to do, at least for someone. So it is here in my little town.

You’ve probably seen on TV those high-speed police chases through the streets of big cities like Los Angeles? Oops, some car just got t-boned by a bad guy being chased through a busy intersection by the cops. Bad day to be that car. 😦 When I see something like that, I always wonder what that person was doing in their car right at that particular moment, that moment right before they were invited to leave planet Earth. Was it taking the kids to school? Going to work? Traveling to or from a secret lover? Or, perhaps, something as trivial as a trip to the Taco Bell? Ouch! What a way to go out! Meeting Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates with an enchirito, Mexican pizza and a beefy 5 layer volcano burrito in your hands. AWKWARD!!

It’s not quite that bad in my new home town, but the traffic is amazingly nuts for our small size. The Coruscant thing kicks in when you try to do something like stop and wait for cross-traffic so you can cross the street. I don’t care what time of day or what part of town, you will have to wait some time for your opportunity to go. I’m no longer stunned by it, but I still think to myself, “this town wasn’t supposed to be like this!”

If I walk to work, which I try to do these days, cars will turn right in front of me. Leap back quickly or you’ll lose your toes. Red light running is another hip new trend. It must be all the big city imports bringing their wicked ways. (In other words, me.) And our traffic is so bad, you’ll often end up sitting at the same right light more than once. (Which is, by the way, a fantastic way to experience hell right here on Earth.) Hey, that’s just like the big city!

Too bad this really isn’t Coruscant because those Jedi mind tricks would work really great here. We are up to our asses with weak-minded fools.