Strip Maul
Correct me if I’m wrong, but bacon on a hamburger has been a thing for quite some time, right? Now fast food outlets are running advertising on steroids acting like it’s something utterly new.
Somebody better get this burger a little fedora. I smell a trend.
“Get bacon in your burger” a bulbous clown-head thing boisterously sings on TV.
Why? Is there anything even remotely new about combining hamburgers and bacon? Just how significant is the difference between bacon on a burger and bacon in a burger? On vs. in. That’s the eternal question, isn’t it? If the researchers at a fast food restaurant are to be believed, it’s certainly something to crow about. (Coming soon.)
First they demonstrate a freak of nature they’ve developed in their labs. It’s called “Bork.” Yes, he’s half beef, half pork. He’s a cute little critter that mostly looks like a pig, but has the markings of a cow and even horns. Talk about DNA recombinations and GMO!
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A Drab Dribble of Drabble and Drubbing
A gust of wind kicked up dust as a bird of prey somewhere overhead belched an exhausted “skraww,” circling lazily, lifted by rising columns of distorted heat. Blinded, the heel of my boot dragged on the burning asphalt. I staggered and sweat found purchase in my already stinging eyes.
Blinking hard and wiping away the muck, I squinted and peered into the distance at the crossroads before me. To my left, shimmering like a mirage, stood a fast food place about 20 minutes away. To my right, an equal distance away, stood their competition.
My lunch break was only an hour. I’d have to choose wisely. There wasn’t enough time for a second chance. Pick the wrong one and the birds would be in for a tasty snack at my expense.
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