Paddle Me Canoe Edition
Every great expedition begins with a solid plan. Seen here is an artist’s conceptual drawing of everything we imagined. We were decidedly not on solid ground.
Sauvie Island by Canoe
A Year Ago
Have you ever wanted something? Which do you think is preferable? Achieving it or remaining an interminable infinite loop of denial?
One year ago we moved to the big city of Portland, Oregon. Soon after we stunned by the sheer number of outside things to do. Tucked away here and there amidst the urban sprawl were remarkable natural areas to explore. I no longer remember how but somehow we became fixated on the idea of getting a canoe.
Owning a canoe became a frequent topic of discussion during the next year. We imagined the places we would go. We envisioned it as easy and inexpensive way to enjoy our new home. Need something to do? Just throw the canoe on the car and hit one of the many interesting places: rivers, lakes, sloughs and more. Viola.
I’d been in a canoe one before, but that was at church camp like 30 summers ago. I didn’t recall any bad memories so it must have been easy and fun. Right?
Continue reading →
Scurvy Pumpkin Hunter
Halloween may be over but pumpkin may yet be on the menu. I’m talking about, of course, the Pumpkin Taco. Better make a run from the Bell or you’ll have little to be thankful for this month.
The reader of this blog may already know that we recently moved to Portland, Oregon.
Located about 10 miles northwest of downtown is a place called Sauvie Island. It’s the largest island on the mighty Columbia River and one of the largest river islands in the United States. I’d never heard of it before moving here.
The island is about 26,000 square acres and home to primarily farmland and protected wildlife areas and even a nude beach. Ever since we arrived it has been a popular destination to for us to visit for photography, picking our own produce, and bird watching.
It’s also home to some of the biggest pumpkin patches in the Portland area, including one that is “haunted,” the corn maze bit, yada yada yada.
It was also where my wife wanted to go pumpkin shopping. So, one find day, we grabbed our machetes and headed out to the island. After all, what could possibly go wrong?
Continue reading →
Survivor: Abyss Island – The Dead Reonion Show Part Duh
At long last, here it is. Finally, the wait is over. The Survivor: Abyss Island reunion show has arrived. The production team was been hard at work crunching the audio. We apologize it took a few extra days. It’s a dirty thankless job and many hours of blather were left on the cutting room floor. (This is the part where you thank me. This shit could have been longer.)
This is part two of the world famous audio interview.
Make the shark jump for the link.
Survivor: Abyss Island – The Dead Reonion Show (Audio!)
At long last, here it is. Finally, the wait is over. The Survivor: Abyss Island reunion show has arrived. The production team was been hard at work crunching the audio. We apologize it took a few extra days. It’s a dirty thankless job and many hours of blather were left on the cutting room floor. (This is the part where you thank me. This shit could have been longer.)
Following 39 grueling days on the island, my host/wife thought it would be a good idea to interview me proving, once again, her host powers went completely to her head. Like a freshly broken down cabazon filet I was grilled for 40 whopping minutes until I was crisp and completely blackened. I was too afraid to say no.
My wife even solicited questions from “fans” of the show. Poor lost souls.
Wearing only my tribe buff and a Survivor shot glass repeatedly full of tequila, my wife wisely got me mostly hammered before going all 60 Minutes on my ass. The interview lasted an interminable 40 minutes and has been broken into two parts. At the bottom of this post is a link to part one of the audio interview.
Make the shark jump for the link.
Abyss Island: Taking Inventory
There are pros and cons to everything, I guess. On one hand I’m stranded alone, a forgotten castaway, forced to live on nothing but beans and rice. On the other hand, there is reduced competition for my parking spot. (meekly) Yeah, me.
So here we are. Day 36. Only three more days to go. Rather than wasting my time doing tai chi on the beach, I thought I’d take a few minutes out of my busy schedule to catch you up on the comings and goings of the indigenous peoples on Abyss Island.
Joy for you. Yet another post where I talk about myself. Who said this blog doesn’t have a theme? It’s me! Me, me, me and an extra serving of me! And me for dessert with sprinkles on top.
That’s just sick, really.
Let’s approach cautiously lest we startle the beast.
Last we heard our intrepid Survivor had won a reward challenge…
Continue reading →
Survivor: Abyss Island – Day 1 Recap
Survivor Day 1: “It Consumes The Nourishment Or It Gets The Hose.”
My idea was a simple one: Eat like a Survivor for 39 days and get a wee taste of what the food situation is like on the hit TV show.
I’m halfway through Day 2 and I can tell you this: Yowza! This is no small thing.
My food yesterday consisted of rice, kidney beans, raw coconut and banana. With no salt. (That’s a biggie.) And I fell 500 calories short of my 1,500 calories per day goal.
But that wasn’t the worst of it.
I made the classic Survivor blunder. I neglected the social game.
In other words, I had no idea what my wife had lying in wait. The Host with the Most has turned my little experiment into something bigger than I expected.
I’m afraid.
Continue reading →
Shouts from the Abyss 
Recent Comments