Tag Archives: ire

How To Be Livid

I will feast on your soul.

I will feast on your soul.

Prattling on about this nonsense and that is all well and good, but the time has come to put lofty ideas into action. It’s time to be livid.

Pro Tip: You may want to keep some napkins handy just in case veins on your forehead pop.

Sometimes life will lope up on you from behind and give you ample reasons to be angry. Sometimes (although I can’t imagine why) you aren’t even in the mood to be angry yet life will foist itself upon you regardless. It will literally force you to be livid against your will.

True, those are sublime experiences, but they do tend to be rather random and when the chips are down, you really can’t count them.

So, what to do? Take matters into your own hands, of course! With my tried and true techniques, and a bit of practice, so you’ll soon be livid with the best of them, as often as you want and when you need it the most.

Sound too good to be true? It probably is. See? I can feel it working already!
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Offended

It’s Christmas morning. A time for quiet reflection. A time for pondering the meaning of life and the enormity of space, time and the universe.

It’s also a time to wonder why I didn’t prepare a blog post in advance. Ouch. That’s unpleasant. Let’s avoid those thoughts.

I find myself thinking about offense.

What is it to be offended? I have given this some thought and I’ve decided it is my innate reaction to the actions of other people that are actions I would never do myself.
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