I can haz educashun?
Devices in the classroom? What could possibly go wrong?
Attention class! Eyes up here. Settle down, now! No, Siri is not allowed to say the Pledge of Allegiance on your behalf. We don’t offer citizenship by proxy. Yet. You just might be missing the point. And devices down before putting Siri and/or your hand over your heart.
Say what? Devices you say? In school? What fresh hell is this?
Okay, class. Who was the first president of the United States, often referred to as the father of our country? All together now, in unison, just like Wilma and Betty:
Google it!!!
Well done, class. iTunes credit for everyone! Except little Timmy, there, who’s family can’t even afford an iPhone 5s. Ha ha! Use the social media network of your choice, except Facebook (which is passé), to shame him and/or encourage him to commit suicide.
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Weed Oasis [Nature Photograher]
I rather like this shot. I used an iPod with the sun behind me and to my right. Logistically I had to hold the iPod far to my right to avoid my shadow in the shot and I could barely compose because sunlight was reflecting from the display directly into my eyeballs. To complete my bitching, the way I was holding the iPod made it very hard to touch the button to take the shot.
I ain’t sayin’ this is a work of art but I still like how it turned out. For once one of my pictures actually tells a “story,” something that has been beaten into me repeatedly. What the hell. At least it ain’t another sign shot! And for those of you who thought this photo might be some other kind of “weed” oasis I offer my apologies for wasting your time.
I originally shared this photo on Twitter under the title, “Miracle of Life.”
Siri Says: 2001 – An In Yo Face Obduracy
This image has absolutely nothing to do with Siri. But I took this photo and somehow I’m sure Siri was against it. Sea Gull ™ is about to deliver the straight poop. Just look at that gleam in the little fella’s eye.
My therapist told me today that I am prone to hyperbole. I was shocked. By about a million percent. Oh the unmitigated gall.
The unmitigated sea gall!
Now that I’m back to writing my posts on a real computer and not on an iPod I can do fancy things like include images. The preceding paragraph is, in my humble opinion, enough justification to allow insertion of a photo I took. By the way, despite my lame joke, the photo does not depict a “sea gull.” There’s no such thing. There are only “gulls.” (This is fancy marine biologist knowledge.) The Livingston on the right is a “western gull.” So just remember, when someone says “sea gull” be sure to tell them, “There’s no such thing!” I’m sure they’ll thank you for it.
I took the photo of the sea gull on my vacation*. (This is where, somehow, I tie this post back to the subject line.) I didn’t have a computer with me. Only my wee little iPod which I used to stress test my finger on a very regular basis. (Driving was also good for this.)
Now, technically speaking, a mere insignificant iPod doesn’t actually have a “Siri” inside of it. But it does have the same voice. So let me pretend a moment, won’t you?
From the title of this post, “Siri Says,” you might be thinking this post is going to be one of those cutesy explorations of the wacky things people say to their handheld gadgets and the oh-so hilarious ways the gadgets respond. Well, you’re wrong. Siri herself told me that people who do that are officially ready for their lobotomies and I’ve already had mine!
During the 42 hour drive to our vacation destination I wrote a song, a touching little ditty about poop, and recorded it on my iPod. I was planning to make it the second audio post in Shouts From The Abyss history.
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Silent Saturday: iPod Photos
I actually have blog ideas today. But I’m not in the mood to write. Weird how it works like that, eh?
I loaded some recent photos from my iPod and decided to throw them online.
Like a boss.
On Thursday this week the boss decided to rip coworker a new one for how he packaged a box. He said, “I don’t know who trained you, but I prefer it like this. Here’s a list of 25 things I would have done differently. I’m going to explain in vivid detail on each one of those how your way sucks.”
Lo and behold, I happen to have captured a pic of how the boss really does it when there is no one around to insult. Not exactly the quality job that he said he demands from others is it?
Click the jump for even more photographic explorations like these! I promise they are not all about the boss.
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So this is Christmas
This post is populated with exceptional pictures from my personal Christmas 2011 photo album. Please enjoy!
They’re back … In Christmas no one can hear you scream … Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the Christmas … Christmas, we have a problem.
What can be said about Christmas 2011? I put my top men on it and this is what we came up with.
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The difference between devices and computers
They say that the “computer” is passe.
They say that the thing we grew up with, a monitor, keyboard, mouse and CPU is old and busted.
They say it will give way to a next generation of handheld devices.
They can kiss my ass.
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The Photographer and his iPod
What’s an iPod good for? Among other things it can grab impromptu pictures of when I would have otherwise not have my real camera available. Like when walking down the sidewalk on my lunch break.
Since I just can’t psyche myself into the mood to write lately (and maybe never again), here are a couple of recent iPod photographic masterpieces for your enjoyment.
As always, signed prints are available for the low cost of only “shipping and handling.” I’ll tell you what that is after you provide your credit card number.
This is the jewel of my collection. I had a lengthy make-out session with my iPod after taking this serendipitous shot. I call this photograph: "Ha ha ha!"
After a nice innocent lunch with the wife, she asked if I wanted a mint. Out of the freakin' blue these damn things showed up. Even a guru has his limits! WTF!!!
Shouts from the Abyss 
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