Like A Boss: The negotiations never took place
I recently completed my first year of working at home as a contractor. Although not as good as my dream of doing nothing, the year was still pretty good and … I had no complaints.
What’s good about working from home? No phones. No walk-in customers leaping in your office. No floor sales. No public toilet across the hall. No attending awkward pizza-only lunches on every employee’s birthday. You don’t spend your day using company-owned equipment. (A previous boss liked to joke he was logging my keystrokes. That was a real damper on my twitter activity.) You get your very own chair. No boogers from other employees on your stuff. There’s an ottoman where two cats sleep and the view out the window is squirrels playing.
When my one-year contract expired, of course I wanted more. It was a no-brainer.
These are the actual and verbatim excerpts of the official transcripts of the negotiation process. I’m sharing them because I don’t mind being humiliated in public.
I am ready to keep things simple and renew the same deal, no changes needed on my end, with all the same terms (another 12 months) excepting a modest increase of only $x.xx to the hourly rate for COLA. That’s $xx.xx/hour up from $xx.xx. Other than that I can’t think of anything else.
It’s official. You all know my salary now. I literally make $X amount. Note my colorful use of marketing terms like “modest” and “only.” Ha ha ha! Player at work! Also, thinking I was being clever, I provided dollar amounts and not percentages. This was a deliberate attempt to confuse and astound. -Ed
Make the jump to read additional communiques from the “negotiation” process and the surprising twist at the end.
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Killjoy the kill shot (self-inflicted)
kill shot (noun) – A shot in various games that is so forcefully hit or perfectly placed that it cannot be returned.
The man who would be King…
It’s nice to know that I’m not the only one around who can make bad decisions.
Donald Trump thinks he’s got a shot at being the next President of the United States. He even thinks he’ll earn the GOP nomination. And, if not, he says he’ll “probably” go it alone as an independent.
I submit the facts in the previous paragraph are evidence enough that the man is not capable of making intelligent decisions, and is therefore not qualified for the job. It is bound to please comedians across the country, though. It’s a gold mine of material!
Curious, I looked for polling data and found this:
A new survey from Newsweek and The Daily Beast indicates President Obama is ahead of Trump by only two percentage points, 43-41, well within the poll’s sampling error of plus or minus 3.5 percent. In fact, Trump fares far better against Obama than Sarah Palin, who would lose to Obama by 11 points, 51-40, according to the poll.
Trump also performs roughly as well as former presidential candidate Mitt Romney, who is 2 points behind Obama in the survey, 49-47 percent. Mike Huckabee, another former presidential candidate, does best against the president in the poll: both are tied at 46 percent. (CNN.)
Of course, this far out, those numbers are almost meaningless, and will no doubt change many, many times during the lead up to election day.
When I think about Trump, I wonder about his motives. Who wants the job of POTUS and why? With him, the only answers I can see related to publicity and celebrity, and that’s just not good enough.
My naive political analysis? A Trump campaign could sully the Republican field with a lot of mud slinging and negative campaigning. I can’t imagine what skeletons Trump might have, but if they are there, I’ll bet they are good ones and they will come out. And I’m sure he can and will fling poo right along with the very best of them. The whole scenario could play out quite favorably to Obama.
At least Trump doesn’t have to worry about birth certificate issues. Like me, he was hatched. And right here, right now, I’m going to make a prediction. People who come out against him will come to be known as Trumpers. You heard it here first, folks!
Either way, come election day, I’ll take a pass on The Donald, thank you.
This is my “K” post for the April 2011 “A to Z Blogging Challenge.”