It helps to know some Lonely Island to get the joke in the subject line. -Ed
The citizen initiative in Oregon that would require labeling of GMO foods is polling very tight. It’s still within the margin of error and the undecideds but the nays appear to be holding an ever-so slight lead over the ayes. It is already the most expensive initiative in Oregon’s history. The nay money is pouring in by the millions. Companies like Monsanto, PepsiCo, Mead Johnson and Dow AgroSciences. Isn’t that telling?
As this process is proceeding apace, I thought I’d take a few moments to splice one last point on this important issue.
One thing is being made excruciatingly clear. The people who make food don’t want you to know what the fuck is in there. They don’t want you to know how it’s made. They don’t want you to see how they treat animals. (See so-called Ag Gag laws.) They want to hide unpleasant-sounding ingredients, things they know you decidedly do not want to hear about, behind clever euphemisms like “natural flavors.”
Which would you rather eat? All new fortified Tasty Anus or “natural flavors.” Gosh golly gee willickers. What sounds better in your tummy?
So I thought it over and decided, what if the debate was presented like this?
Suppose I was the food industry and I invited you over to my place for dinner.
I might try to do something nice, assuming I actually gave a shit about you, and find out if you have deadly allergies, like peanuts. After all, I’m not out to kill you, right? I want you to enjoy your meal.
Maybe you tell me that you don’t like yams. Are you allergic? No. Will it kill you? No. You simply don’t like them. That’s all.
How should I react to your humble request? What are my options?
Well, I could honor you as a person and forgo the ingredient. Hahahah! Thanks for the tripe laugh! We all know that’s not gonna fucking happen. Seriously, I didn’t just fall off the pesticide-resistant turnip truck yesterday.
Don’t be so goddamned naive. My dinner is a business. It’s kill or be killed. Nothing matters except profits.
What choices does that leave me?
I could simply say, “I’m not telling. Are there yams in here? You’ll never know!!!” That’s called being a good host.
My other option is lie. Hide it. Distract. Obsfucate.
What would you do? Isn’t this a nice way to treat each other? Doesn’t this sort of attitude help make the world a better place?
I make. You eat. Shut the hell up about it. I’m your host, Mr. GMO. By the way, I can’t believe you ate that. Ha ha ha!
My lies and hate. It’s what’s for dinner.
Abyss Island: S1E12 – A Good Day To Cry Hard
And so it comes down to this. Day 36 and only three days to go. I figured my next challenge was going to be for a brand new car! Okay, so I was only slightly off on that score.
With the end of the tunnel now in sight, Survivors have to remain cognizant that challenge difficulty is going to be ramped up. This is where the best of the best truly shine and the people like me go home empty handed.
Tree mail, like always, sounded the just right ominous tone:
At first you won’t be able to see
You won’t think it’s fair, but it is to me
Next you will find it puzzling to see
But the picture will be clear to me
Get it together for all to see
If you lose you will have to submit to me
Oh, great. A blindfold challenge and a puzzle. All the best elements of Survivor. Not. This does not bode well for me. Am I mistaken or does the word “submit” ring out just like the creep duh-duh music from the movie Jaws?
To top it off my wife spent all day taunting me. “Are you practicing, Tom? Big challenge tonight.” Practicing what? Being blindfolded? And how does one practice for a freaking puzzle, smart ass?
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There are pros and cons to everything, I guess. On one hand I’m stranded alone, a forgotten castaway, forced to live on nothing but beans and rice. On the other hand, there is reduced competition for my parking spot. (meekly) Yeah, me.
So here we are. Day 36. Only three more days to go. Rather than wasting my time doing tai chi on the beach, I thought I’d take a few minutes out of my busy schedule to catch you up on the comings and goings of the indigenous peoples on Abyss Island.
Joy for you. Yet another post where I talk about myself. Who said this blog doesn’t have a theme? It’s me! Me, me, me and an extra serving of me! And me for dessert with sprinkles on top.
That’s just sick, really.
Let’s approach cautiously lest we startle the beast.
Last we heard our intrepid Survivor had won a reward challenge…
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CBS today announced the date for the season premier of Survivor Nicaragua, the 21st season of the popular reality show. The show will premier on Wednesday, September 15th at 8pm.
Rumors and other information are starting to flow as CBS gears up to release the identities of this year’s cast sometime in August. There will be two starting teams named “Espada” and “La Flor.” As described on Survivor’s Facebook page: “A great battle between a flower and a sword takes place on the beaches of Nicaragua this September on CBS!!”
There is a rumor that teams will be divided by age with one team over 40 and the other team under 30. This would seem to leave out the 30-somethings, eh? It is also rumored there will be 18 contestants at the start of the show.
Former Dallas Cowboys football coach Jimmy Johnson, age 67, is reportedly a contestant on the show. He might be an interesting choice but I personally don’t see him making it any further than week 4.
Grab your buffs. It’s almost time, people!
Nitwit * Outcast * Outfray
Outfray??? Okay, I admit it. That’s lame as hell. Epic fail! The only other thing that came to mind was “Frito-Lay” and I thought that was even lamer. Sue me!
The 21st season of Survivor is scheduled to start sometime in September 2010. I don’t know the official date yet of the season premier, but my spidey sense is tingling and telling me that the official Survivor web site is going to be updated very soon unveiling this season’s cast members.
In breaking news from today, The Dallas Morning News has reported that former Dallas Cowboys coach Jimmy Johnson will be a contestant. (Source.) Prediction: He won’t win. Johnson is currently a football analyst for FOX NFL Sunday. I wonder if FOX hat to put him on waivers so he could appear on an NFL show?
Season 21 of Survivor will reportedly also feature the return of the game-changing “Hidden Immunity Idol.” Jeff Probst has blogged, however, that they will be hidden differently than in previous seasons due to “The Russell Factor.”
Probst has reportedly already signed for seasons 22 of Survivor. The future of the series after that remains uncertain at this time.
For the first time since Survivor Borneo, the initial season of Survivor, the show will air on Wednesdays at 8pm.
Seasons 21 and 22 of Survivor will both reportedly be filmed in Nicaragua near San Juan del Sur. This no doubt will help reduce the costs of producing the show.
The top prize of $1 million still hasn’t been adjusted for inflation since the series originally premiered in the United States in 2000. That’s probably why I don’t even bother. 🙂