DIY: How To Drink Whiskey
Is this some kind of trick? How to drink whiskey?! Are you kidding me?
“You know how to drink, don’t you? You just put your lips together and suck.”
No shit, Sherlock. Every newborn that ever successfully met a nipple knows that much.
Why do the DIY nut jobs have to overcomplicate everything? I think they got a screw loose.
OK, smartypants. How do you drink whiskey?
Stick me up on your way down
Here’s a bit of news in honor of 7/11 day…
Two teenage girls exited the local 7/11. They were accosted by a 45-year-old transient who shoved one of them and made off with a disclosed amount of cash. (The loot was a five dollar bill.) The transient went into the 7/11 convenience store and purchased an undisclosed amount of beer.
The robber then exited the 7/11 and threw the change from his transaction at the teenage girls.
One of the girls then confronted the master criminal who then slapped her in the face and departed the scene on foot.
Police caught the suspect a few blocks away and took him into custody on charges of theft, robbery, assault and harassment. He was lodged in the county jail. It turned out the suspect was already on parole for a prior charge of robbery.
I’m personally offering to buy the arresting officers in this case a 128 US fl oz (3.8 l) Team Gulp in the soft drink flavor of their choice.
Remember, if your town doesn’t have a 7/11 store, then your town isn’t stylish yet.