As a person that constitutes a form of life (or so I assume) there are two realities that I’m reasonably sure exist:
- My own (that I’m fairly familiar with)
- All that other shits
Note: If you get lumped in with the latter group please don’t take it personally. I don’t make the rules.
Even with the stark duality of this view, however, I imagine certain explorations into that other realm where y’all live are still possible.
For example, using inference, deduction and other external stimuli, I can attempt to discern what’s going on in that gray matter you recklessly call a brain. Clues might include things like your primitive vocalizations, ritualistic dance and other movements, and how you are adorned.
That plumage on your head in the form of a fedora speaks volumes. I interpret that as a rather pronounced attempt to establish position within your group. Am I right? Judging actual intent of other life forms can be tricky. It’s always murky guesswork. But I’m pretty sure I nailed it.
I mentioned to my wife the other day that I would deliberately do the opposite of what I really wanted if I perceived that it might be perceived by other people as an attempt to be cool. Think about it. That’s a very deep thought. I’d literally do the exact opposite of what I want, which, by definition, is that which I hate.
I’m committed. And now, a brief case study.
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Hyppo was on a boat. He gestured towards Critter while pointing at some people on the shore, who were so small they looked like little specks.
“Look at those motherfuckers over there,” he said with contempt. “Fucking land lubber bastards. We’re on a boat.”
The next day, Hyppo and Critter were back on solid land. They were standing on the shore when they spied a passing boat out at sea.
“Look at those assholes,” Hyppo said. “Don’t they think they’re oh so special being on a boat. They’re despicable.”
This post painfully tapped out on my iPod for your enjoyment. For bonus points I did it while drunk.