It’s winner take all in this battle of the presidential wannabe logos:

Barack Obama

Mitt Romney

Obama wins by a landslide!

I’m being unbiased and open-minded as hell when I declare Obama as the winner in this battle of the logos! I mean, come on, Mitt! What the fuck is that thing?

Tom’s Law #42
A logo similar to one I could make myself is a failure.

I was racking my brain. Where in the name of Zeus’ butthole have I seen that logo before?

Aquafresh

Oh yeah! That’s where. It doesn’t feel very “presidential” to have a logo that’s reminiscent of toothpaste, but maybe that’s just me. Mitt is minty fresh! “Minty Romney.” Yeah, I like the sound of that.

Dubya, Barry and Minty. Sounds like a freak presidential version of the Pep Boys.

But wait. There is still some other nagging feeling about that logo. What could it be?

Carnival Cruise Lines

Oh yeah. That’s it.

“Okay, Mitt. Here’s the deal. We came up with a bunch of logos for you to choose from. Remember, this is critical. Which one do you like?”

“I’m rather partial to the one that looks like a blurry, pathetically fat ‘R’. R is for Romney. Get it?”

“Oh, God.”

If the logo is any indication of Romney’s decision making skills, I can guarantee we do not want him to be president. Ever.

Other Wannabe Logos

Note: I visited the websites of some people who have campaigns and attempted to locate their “logos.” The images I found (shown below) may or may not officially be “logos.” It’s not like they offer them up on a silver platter as an easy download for my convenience. I apologize in advance for any logo misrepresentation. I did my best!

Sarah Palin – As a candidate who hasn’t announced yet, she’s still a no show in this department. When it finally does pop on the scene, I’m sure it will  have eagles and mountains, amber waves of grain, and be fruited all across the plains. It may also have a book, crosshairs, helicopter and/or a bus.

Rick Santorum

Meh. Not much to see here. Yes, it does have an eagle,  but the colors are off and I could have made something even better. Take one letter of your name and substitute it with something that looks like that letter. That is so Google.

Ron Paul

Another eagle. The colors are better, and it has a more official look. Meh. Use a fancy thing known as a “font” and flourish up a single letter. Now that is what I call design.

Jimmy McMillan

The graphic designer costs must also be too damn high! This is actually my favorite. Go, Jimmy, go!

Tim Pawlenty

This one feels so deco. And just a hint of American flag. That is subtle and works on levels. Also, he boldly explores the seldom used red, white and blue color scheme. That is daring and shows outside-the-box thinking. Personally, though, if I was running for president I’d go with green and blue.

Newt Gingrich

This logo was actually designed to Newt’s exacting standards. “I want red, white and blue.” (Of course.) “Also, put a wavy red thing and a star somewhere.” Also noteworthy: No last name. Newt thinks he is on par with Cher, Madonna and Sting. Ego much?

Michele Bachmann

I’ve actually seen signs for city council that far surpassed this one. The only interesting thing here is that the “H” is trying to flash us. Another example of single-letter-flourish “design.” No eagle, either. Is she anti-American? Perhaps she could add a turkey to set herself apart. That was Benjamin Franklin’s choice for our national bird, after all.