Tag Archives: gasoline

Everyone Loves A Charade

stupid-paradeSo I went to a parade the other day. I was curious to re-experience the phenomenon since it had been quite some time. The last time I saw a parade was from within as a member of the high school’s marching band playing my trombone.

Yeah, it’s really been that long. I avoid public events religiously. I recently lived ten years in a small town. During that time I successfully avoided all the parades, county fairs, classic car shows and even the yearly carnivals festively known to the locals as “dirt bowls.” I’m a hardcore avoider and parade dodger.

The parade started with the police and fire departments showing off their rides. Meh. I grudgingly gave them a pass since this is apparently the traditional way to start a parade. I fleetingly wondered how much it was costing me.

Then came some beauty queens riding in the back of convertibles. Meh. Mildy amoosing.

This was followed by the “citizen of the year” aka a person I don’t know in car.

At last, the grand marshal. A person in a car. I was starting to swoon from … too … much … excitement. Suddenly I realized I could have been back at home watching Star Trek: The Animated Series on Netflix.

In case you missed it, the theme of the parade was “Undying Love For The Internal Combustion Engine.”
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An apple a day keeps the … yuck!

I try to eat an apple every day. My habit is to swing by the grocery store on the way to work and get an apple every morning. When apples are 98 cents a pound an apple will cost about 48 cents each depending on the size. Stopping by the store every morning guarantees I’ll get, at least theoretically, the freshest apple I can possibly can.

What I’ve been noticing, though, is that this year the quality of apples has been going down. Some have been downright inedible.

Then I realized I’ve been seeing the same thing with onions. You’re in the mood to cook so you swing by the grocery and grab the freshest ingredients. You get home and slice open the onion and … yuck! It’s rotten on the inside.

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