Tag Archives: ftw

When Life Gives Bullets


Love Warcraft Style

I can show you the world ... of warcraft.

I can show you the world … of warcraft.

Have you met that couple? You know the one. So oogly moogly in love that they shout it for all to hear, whether they want to know or not. “Look at us,” they emote. “We are the world’s greatest lovers. We’ll be together to infinity … and beyond!” Then comes more mushy stuff than you can shake a stick at.

Gag me.

They say that the stars that burn the brightest have the messiest divorces. (Or something like that.)

So how do you go from endless love to histrionics like this? (My emphasis added.)

Filled with absolute dread as I’ll soon be near that son of bitch in court.
–Social media update

I think it helps if you originally met in World Of Warcraft, the massively online multiplayer game.

I’ll never forget the day we met. The sun was setting as I rode hard across the Arathi Highlands. Stromgarde Keep was my goal. I was going to kill that usurper Lord Falconcrest once and for all. Involuntarily my exposed bones shivered at the mere thought of that son of a bitch. “For the Horde,” I screamed into the night.

But I did not yell alone. Surprised, my hand dropped warily to the hilt of my halberd and I turned and saw you. I looked into those dull, cow-like Tauren eyes and was gone. Totally gone. Together we stormed the keep and never looked back…

Bonus points if you get the Aladdin reference.

The Winning Sinning

Unlikely amoebas.

What is winning? What is risk? What is glory?

To win without risk is to triumph without glory.
— Pierre Corneille (1606 – 1684), ‘The Cid,’ 1636

Tough questions when it’s early on a Monday morning. Too tough. But I can tell you this much with 100 percent certainty: The continued existence of Charlie Sheen has absolutely ruined the internet for the term “winning.”

Out of the first 31 results in a Google Image Search for “winning” a whopping 28 of them had something to do with ye olde whack nut. On the highway of life Charlie Sheen is a single-vehicle accident.

I guess we could say he’s a winner when it comes to publicity.
Continue reading →

Boss Said That #challenge #contest

A contest!

You could win this action figure – some dude from The Simpsons cartoon I think – and only previously mauled by a cat.

The premise for the contest: Boss said that!

Rules: Post a comment on this post or a tweet at @shoutabyss on Twitter to enter. The entry must contain an actual boss quotation.

The winner will be selected by the Abyss Editorial Board by the end of November. The winning entry will be selected based on a strict criteria consisting of some combination of unparalleled excellence of the following: pith, assholiness, negativity, futility, moronitude, doublespeak, obliviosity, ineptness, greed, deception, lack of ethics, obfuscation, pointlessness, drooling, criminality and/or hypocrisy.

The winning entry will be announced on this blog and on the official Abyss twitter feed.

Disclaimer: To claim the prize, the winner grants reprint rights to the Abyss.

The prize will be sent via the United States Postal Service to locations within the United States. Estimated value of prize: 42 drachmas or one-tenth of one cent, whichever is less. Odds of winning: 100% (based on a single entrant). Additional entrants will lower odds of winning accordingly.

To get things started, here’s an example of actual words uttered by a prickholio of a boss:

I have spoken.

This particular example was spoken three months after a suggestion was called stupid by the boss, right after the boss said the idea would be implemented as his idea. Fuck nut.

Enter early and enter often. There can only be one winner, the rest of you will be dinner. Good luck!

Alcalde and Zorro say El Finito: The A-Z Blogging Challenge

Stick a fork in me because I am done!

Done with the A-Z Blogging Challenge, that is. 🙂

When people see me a-comin’ they must quake in their boots, because the “challenges” are issued fast and furious.

Apparently there is one thing we bloggers love greatly and that is issuing a good challenge.

Overall, I found this challenge to be, well, challenging. There were times it felt restrictive, but there were also a couple of posts I really enjoyed that wouldn’t have existed if not for the challenge. The conditions of the challenge forced me to go places I probably wouldn’t have gone. So I’m glad about that.

By participating in the A-Z Challenge, I also picked up some traffic and new friends I wouldn’t have otherwise. I love making new friends and checking out their blogs.

Challenge accepted! Challenge conquered. Overall I’m fairly happy with how I did. I only really cheated one time. Come on! What does Donald Trump have to do with the letter “K,” eh???

My next challenge will be to avoid any and all challenges, at least until June 1, 2011, when the BlogShorts June 2011 Challenge starts! Aeeeiiiieeee!

It’s 30 stories with 30 words in 30 days. I challenge you participate! 🙂

Here’s a list of my post titles from the challenge. I’m not going to link them all. If you want to explore my challenge posts, please use this link.

A – An Alphabetic Assassination Attempt
B – Blue Bayou Bobble Bubbles
C – The Curious Case of Computers and a Curse
D – The Most Holy Depressional
E – Energetic energy extrapolations
F – Fantastical, farcical fables of fetal fatality freedoms
G – Goodness gracious, great galls of gyre!
H – Happiness Hypochondria
I – Intellectual intercourse interruption
J – Job-related Jeopardy jollies
K – Killjoy the kill shot (self-inflicted)
L – The 7 Loathe Languages for Lost Lovers
M – Mitt the Mormon
N – The Neon Ninja of Naked Negativity Nirvana
O – Overvalued: Oh oligarchy, oh obligations!
P – The pursuit of a position in the profession of plane procedures
Q – Quest for the quirky queen of Quackery
R – Hyppo and Critter: You say you want a Revolution
S – Sophie Scholl
T – Theoretical thoughts of theological tsunami truths
U – U is for Undertow
V – V is for Vexting
W – W is for Wall
X – Case studies from the X-Files
Y – Yesterdays and Yesteryears
Z – Zoology 101

Turn RL into a game, earn EXP and level up

FTW! 🙂