A Link To Centuries
All I want for Christmas is a “no soliciting” sign. I had one before but a solicitor stole it from my door. I know because I was inside ignoring them when it happened. And, true story, they were selling for the company where I worked. Unbelievable.
In the meantime…
It was a Saturday afternoon. My wife and I were hanging out in the living room with the cats. I wasn’t wearing pants. Suddenly, there came a sound from the door. The cats ran away. The moment was lost.
You know that knock? The one that says, “Hey, it’s me.” It goes like this:
Knock knock!
Knock knock knock knock knock knock.
Knock knock!
I heard that sound and cocked an ear. “Who the hell can that be?” I gasped.
No worries. It was a just a salesperson.
Mother of Invention – PODS
You hook 'em, I'll clean 'em and fry 'em.
My wife just left this morning on her annual weekend retreat with some girlfriends. Now I’m left home alone for a glorious three-day weekend.
Hello T-R-O-U-B-L-E!
Naturally I’ve got a lot going on, but I’m still going to try to squeeze in a little blogging as time permits. In between 14-hour bouts of sitting on my ass, eating entire bags of potato chips and sour cream dip, and watching my toenails grow, I shall endeavor to pump out the same high quality of bitching to which all of my reader have grown accustomed.
For today, I wish to announce the latest in a long series of miraculous and societal-changing inventions from the team of creative geniuses that power the Abyss.
Continue reading →
Seeking investors: Ground floor opportunity (via Shouts from the Abyss)
I’m short on time, energy, ideas and skill today. That means it’s time for a reblog and a video, boys and girls!
First up, the video. I’d like to send this out as a long distance dedication. Also, the topic is somewhat fitting since I’m reblogging my own post. That has gots to be naughty.
I highly recommend this video for those of you who have good taste. It’s also a timeless classic from a masterful writer and director. I give it two hard drives up. Way the fuck up!
Next, I’ve got a new business idea percolating in my brain. I hope to share the idea with you all soon. Until then, I’m still looking for investors for the last idea. Amazingly there is still a chance to get in on that action before it’s too late. Read on before you make the biggest mistake of your life.
Don’t forget to check out my mad Photoshop skills on the logo, which I did myself! 🙂
Seeking investors: Ground floor opportunity
It be subtle, but that switch is in the 'off' position - heh!
As a self-styled “inventor” I like coming up with fresh new ideas.
I’ve been thinking a lot about so-called “social media” lately and wondering, “Is there a way I can milk that cash cow, too?”
What I need is a way to put my own twist of negativity on sites like Facebook and MySpace.
That’s about when I had the idea for my next big thing. I’m calling it “anti-social media.” (Alas, a Google search reveals I’m not the first to dream up this particular phrase. It’s damn hard to be completely original these days.)
My very own spin, however, is to take that phrase and loosely apply it to the social networking phenomenon. My concept is a web site called NothingShare.com. I’ve already made the logo for the site, too.
The premise for the service is simple. Just like social sites, people will sign up and create their online personas. The rub is that they’ll never be seen. Ever.
I like the elegant simplicity of that. There will be no friends. All invitation requests will automatically be handled (and rejected) by the service. An “accept” button will not exist.
Backgrounds? Only one will be offered, in black, of course.
There will be at least one online game. Perhaps something like iQuicksand. “You’ve just sunk three more inches. Your request for rope has been answered by 0 friends.” Yeah, that sounds like good clean fun to me!
The primary function of the service will be something I’m calling “profile masturbation.” Visit the site, log in, and tweak your profile to your heart’s content. Upload your “avatar” image. Quippishly enter your favorite quotes. List all of your favorite TV shows, types of music, iTunes playlists, and books you’ve read recently. Come up with pithy and clever snippets that prove how fucking witty you are. If you’re having fun, that’s great! You’re the only one on the planet who will ever have the chance to enjoy it.
What is needed now is investment capital. If you love the concept as much as me, it’s time to open your hearts (along with your wallets) and get me da money. It’s scrilla time. Operators are standing by. (Unfortunately, just like friend invites, their phones can’t accept incoming calls.)
Start-Up Costs Estimate Sheet – Total Needed: $2,507,595
Domain name: $10
Design: $25
Web Hosting: $60
Licensing fees for Taco Bell’s “Black Taco” to be company mascot: $7,500
CEO Bonus: $2.5 million
In exchange for your generous donations I’m offering private stock certificates in equal amounts. I’m calling these “Nothing Shares.” And they are literally priceless, if you know what I mean.
I can’t wait to show you my NothingShare.com profile (or not). This is gonna be epic!
Shouts from the Abyss 
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