Tag Archives: flag

Let Your Freak Flag Fly

confedPiggly Wiggly
(Theme song to The Dukes Of Hazzard)

Just’a good ol’ boys
Never meanin’ no harm
Spendin’ all their summer days
With a pig in the barn

Makin’ their way
The only way they know how
By tryin’ to milk a bull
Just’a same as a cow

I’m a visionary. Decades ago I thought the Confederate Flag was as queer as a three dollar bill. It just took a while for this notion to become trendy enough for y’all to take it down.

I have a few words to say on the subject. As you can probably reckon from the subtle opening, I’m here to treat the topic with all the reverence that it deserves. I’m also going to try to avoid repeating all the same tired arguments we’ve heard from both sides of the issue.

A national Gallup poll this month found that 32% of Democrats and 78% of Republicans view the flag as a symbol of “Southern pride” rather than one of “racism.” Let that stick in your craw for a bit.

At the same time, 64% of whites favored the “Southern pride” view while only 19% of blacks felt the same way. Ya think?

Seldom are numbers so astonishingly black and white.

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From Russia With Bloodhound Gang

bloodhound-flagUnder my crusty shell, what is there? A creamy gooey center. Obviously.

It’s only 8am and twice already I’ve used the word “gooey” to refer to myself. Is social media great or what?

Besides the goo, you might also see the creepy place where I have some strange likes and dislikes. One of those is the Bloodhound Gang. No, do not google them. Do not look them up. They are offensive as hell. NSFW.

And yet I still enjoy their music. They make me laugh. Yes, I’m shaming myself right now.

Puerile. Juvenile. Disgusting. Vile. Sexualized. The guys do things like spend a lot of time trying to come up with rhymes for the word “vagina.” (Spoiler alert: North Carolina.)

Have you ever been clubbed over the head by a piece of music? There I was, hanging with my son in his room, and he was playing his “music” like tin foil on metal guitar strings while some talentless hack screams indecipherably. That’s not “music” in my book. Oh how he loves that shit.

But then, I became aware of something else. A song reached out and grabbed hold. The lyrics were beautiful in their simplicity. “I hope you die.” Wow. This was different. Such elegant simplicity. This was good stuff. I was hooked.

And thus began my journey of exploration of the Bloodhound Gang.

The guys recently made a “splash” on their Russian tour. Break out the Stolichnaya and play the Russian flag drinking game with me, won’t you?
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Turds of a Feather

Credit: Some asshole with an iPod.

Credit: Some asshole with an iPod.

Did you notice? Yesterday I didn’t try to pull any of that April Fool’s Day crap on you. I respected you as a person. That simple act of mature restraint elevated me above the likes of Google and the makers of Minecraft. For hate’s sake I claim the higher ground.

The higher ground is mine! Neener, neener, neener. In yo face!

And now I’ve lost it again. Excuse me a moment while I crawl back under the bottom of this barrel here. Ah, there’s no place like home.

Feather Flags: Empirical proof that capitalistic greed grabs take far more precedence than the visual appearance of a community.
–Tom B. Taker

Why not make an entire community look like the inner ring of a toilet when it can make a few assholes a few extra bucks, right?

I give you the humble feather flag (genus flapus fuckus).
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