Tag Archives: filler

¡ Yo Fear-O Taco Bell !


I just had a filler enema!

I am not a foodie. (If you have to paint me in a box go with trekkie.) I know I’ve written about food a lot lately. It’s just this naive bleef that we have a right to know what we eat. And that increasingly the people who make food are seemingly at cross-purposes to that deceptively simple objective. (And sometimes cross-porpoises but that’s another story.)

Take Taco Bell, for example. (Figuratively, not literally, I hope.) A while back there was a hubbub that Taco Bell’s “seasoned beef” was rumored to be 35% beef and 65% other stuff. (Taco Bell eschews the word “filler.”)

Well, Taco Bell wants you to know the truth. They are proud to announced that their “seasoned beef” product is a whopping 88% beef and only 12% other stuff.

Forget about the daily grind, it’s time for an afternoon party! 88% is pretty damn good! Hot mess good. If only we could achieve that standard for everything in life.
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Abandonment Issues

It’s five minutes after my publishing deadline. I just abandoned the blog post I spent the whole day handcrafting as completely unacceptable. This is not good. Here in the Abyss we call this type of scenario Situation Normal.

Please pardon me while I vamp for a few minutes…

Things don’t always work out like we hope or think they should. Ya think?

This morning I encountered a particularly insidious form of online racism. It got to me so I decided to blog about it. My goal was to employ my usual deftness, sensitivity, style and grace while still getting across the raw sense of anger that consumed every fiber of my being like schools of cellular-sized piranhas in my bloodstream.

See? There I go again. Why do I always have to oversell my feelings? It’s almost as if my feelings matter. Let us not play games. We all know they don’t.

I was generally happy with the opening I had written. I even asked my wife to review it and she had high praise. “It’s not quite as bad as your usual garbage,” she quipped.

Wow. Things were looking up! Or so I thought.

Then it came time to actually say something. You know, the point of the whole exercise. KABOOM! That’s where the post jumped the shark, took a turn for the worse and shot off the rails. With extreme prejudice.

Thus, this post is not about racism. Not at all. I’ll have to leave that intellectual exploration to the successful version of me in the mirror universe. (It’s theoretically possible, I suppose.) Instead, let us change gears and talk about failure.

The number of posts I’ve abandoned exceeds what I’ve published. If that’s not true failure I don’t know what is.

At least there’s one thing I’m good at.