Tag Archives: fashion

Hyppo and Critter: I feel so valued

I have a low brow question

Psst! Hey you! Over here. I have a question.

Where did all the female eyebrows go?

I was looking at this interesting and highly entertaining blog today (specifically this post) that had some photographs of women. I think it was about dying your hair blonde. I mean no disrespect to the women featured on that blog, they are very beautiful, but as I looked at the photos something leaped out at me. Something that has been troubling me for a long, long time.

Where did all the female eyebrows go?

Maybe I’m the world’s biggest dumb ass (no doubt) but I’m confused. I’ve heard about “plucking” your eyebrows. And I know you can “trim” them, something I do often to avoid looking too much like Andy Rooney.

But it seems to me that some women are completely removing their eyebrows? And then what happens? They paint or use makeup to create new fake ones? Is that how it works?

I’m seriously confused here. Is that what is actually taking place?

To research this further I went to look up one of the hottest looking women I’ve ever seen: Mona Lisa. (Almost as beautiful as my wife.) I loaded her picture and studied it closely. “Does she even have eyebrows at all,” I asked myself. I zoomed in for a closer look. “Wow. It sure doesn’t look like it.”

As a matter of fact, it turns out she doesn’t.

Mona Lisa has no visible facial hair—including eyebrows and eyelashes. Some researchers claim that it was common at this time for genteel women to pluck them out, since they were considered to be unsightly. In 2007, French engineer Pascal Cotte announced that his ultra high resolution scans of the painting provide evidence that Mona Lisa was originally painted with eyelashes and eyebrows, but that these had gradually disappeared over time, perhaps as a result of overcleaning. For modern viewers the missing eyebrows add to the slightly semi-abstract quality of the face. (Source.)

Interesting. I like learning something new every day. 🙂

I just want to go on record in favor of something I like to call “natural beauty.” I don’t think it looks good or fashionable to remove your eyebrows completely then paint them back on, often in a different location or in a different way. “Say what? Your eyebrows moved???”

I guess the larger question is: Why does fashion seem to be so counterintuitive to common sense? Why can’t we just have natural looking eyebrows and so forth?

I’m sorry to be low brow but I don’t care for no brow. Not at all, no how.

The coolness of wearing wrinkles

Ironing board and ironI don’t remember when or where, but sometime back I heard that wrinkles were the new cool. It was some new trend that the kids were shiznitty about. I could usually care less about the latest trends followed by the kids, but this one got my attention. Mainly because I’m a very wrinkly sort of guy.

I know the phrase “new cool” is old and busted but I don’t care. I live about three years behind the coolness curve. By the time I pick up on it, it’s already dorky and geeky and stale. But that’s just the way I roll.

There is no way in hell you’ll catch me spending the time to take my clothes from the dryer and iron them. No way. So I just wear the wrinkles and tell myself that is the new cool. I’m happy with that.

I’ve since been informed that I must have been mistaken. Either wrinkles were never really the new cool or that trend has long since gone bye bye. Too damn bad. I’m enjoying the wrinkles.

I was thinking about this and the need to conform. I’m no rugged individualist but on the other hand, I don’t think I’ve ever done anything simply to conform, either. If I don’t want to spend time ironing my clothes then I’m not going to, and I don’t care how others may perceive me when they see the wrinkles.

I think a line from a Joan Jett song about sums it up for me:

I don’t give a damn about my bad reputation!
I don’t give a damn about my wild masturbation!

Ooops. I improvised a bit there. Most of you are probably screaming at your monitors right now, “TMI! TMI!” (The few of you who aren’t — call me!) Heh.

Fashion? Bleh. The only thing that concerns me about fashion is: Is it comfortable? If it isn’t comfortable or serve some sort of function (like an extra pocket) then I have no time for it. I can’t believe all the fashion shows on TV. I mean, seriously. Who really cares about any of that crap?