Tag Archives: fake americans

Are you a real American?

Westboro Baptist Church

Some so-called "real" Americans from the Westboro Baptist Church

Are you a “real” American? Or, perchance, are you the fake kind, like me?

I received a piece of shit snotty email from a customer of mine. For some strange fucked-up reason, I often get inside of customer’s email address books. They then send me all sorts of crap.¬†This one said a bunch of horrible stuff about Obama and then posed the brilliant question of the day: ¬†“How many real Americans will you send this on to?” (My emphasis added.)

There sure are some warped motherfuckers out there. And it is a little awkward when they are your customer. Should I reply and tell this douchebag where to go?

The point isn’t so much that what he forwarded me was super-crappy. The point is that he doesn’t know me or my beliefs from a hill of beans so I don’t want him sending me his mental masturbations.

How often do you write (or forward) highly inflammatory stuff to people you don’t really know? Doesn’t matter who, right? More names on the list is better than less. The bigger the better. Now gimme my super-sized biggie drink with the double Quarter Pounder and the super-sized fries.

By the way, some kind soul wrote back to the motherfucker like this and graciously included everyone on the original distribution list:

Mr. XYZ: I write you this e-mail from Nangarhar province, Afghanistan. Please take me off your mailing list ASAP. I find your political commentary offensive. If you didn’t have health care or if you were struggling to afford it, you might have a different opinion. I am one of the millions of Americans that has seen his health care premiums increase three-fold in the last eight years, and no, tort reform has not worked in Colorado or any of the other states in which it has been tried. The new law is good for America; the status quo was not. Obama was giving you the finger. And I am giving you the finger.

Hooah!

Please find below the musical pairing that has been selected for this post.