Scream Within A Dream
Dimly I slowly become aware that I’m no longer asleep. When did that happen? I’m not really sure. My eyes become imperceptible slits just enough to perceive a bit of the world external to my body. That level of activity in my eyeballs takes an amazing amount of effort. Holy shit it’s dark. I suddenly realize I am curious. The burning question in my mind is obvious: What time is it? I pierce through an entirely new level of consciousness and become aware my body is in the wrong position if I ever hope to see the clock. What an incredible perception on my part. Some time later I realize this means I’m going to have to physically move if I’m ever going to obtain an answer to my question. Continue reading →
Wake Me Up Before I Go-Go
Death At A Funeral
This post thoughtfully combines two exciting topics into one. Think of it like a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup full o’ love. I hate peanut butter. Why ruin it with chocolate? But I digress.
I’ve always wanted to plan my own wake. I just haven’t gotten around to it yet. And this weekend I walked out on a funeral. Is there a way I can merge these ideas in a single blogging experience?
Let’s try!
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Oh, the Places You’ll Go!
Where did you come from? Where are you going? What are your plans? Where will you be? Seriously. Where will you be? Like, oh, say 10 years from now. Or 100 years from now? 500 years? A million years?
An asshole once said to me, “What difference does it make if people have health insurance or not? The probability of dying is 100 percent.”
This is an example of taking a truth and expanding it into something really stupid.
I replied, of course, “The difference is what kind of life will it be? A life of enrichment, helping people, challenging goals, accomplishments and experiences of pleasure? Or a life of pain? I think it matters, at least to the people involved.”
Duh.
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Wrest Buy Drive By Whiskey Tango Foxtrot
Shortly before Christmas the online store known as Best Buy had a sale on iTunes cards. Twenty percent off. A $100 iTunes gift card was only $80.
What? You mean I’ve been paying full price this whole time in iTunes when I could have been getting my balance at a discount? Idiot… idiot… idiot…
I had never heard of such a thing. Of course, I’m always the last to know.
So I did something I rarely do, maybe a handful of times per year. I went on the information superhighway and made myself a purchase. I spent $80 on myself. “Merry Christmas to me!”
I figured Best Buy would link me to the code and I could punch it into my Apple device and the alternative death metal would soon be music to my ears. Sure, the order said “free shipping” but why would they spend money on that when they could be all digital up in that grill?
Boy, was I wrong.
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Satan’s Game – For the Horde!
Santiaga. The dangerous and sick alter ego of a person running for elected office.
Now this is when it gets interesting. … kerchunk … kerchunk …
The GOP found out that a Democratic candidate for elected office in Maine played a little computer game known as World of Warcraft (WoW).
It wasn’t something the candidate ever tried to hide.
How did the Maine Republican Party respond? By launching a website that seeks to portray the candidate as some kind of a sick freak. They tried to portray her in-game character as a dangerous real life (RL) thing.
Ominous. She’s a level 85 Orc Rogue that specializes in “assassination.” And she likes to stab things! Is that what we need in Maine politics? In the online game she gets away with “crude, vicious and violent” comments.
Maine needs a State Senator that lives in the real world, not in Colleen’s fantasy world.
–Maine Republican Party website
Yeah! I mean why the hell can’t she go out and just get a mistress like a real Maine politician??? Zumba is was more RL than the sick fantasy of WoW, right?
As always, this got me to thinking. What games have you ever played, you sick freaks???
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A Drab Dribble of Drabble and Drubbing
A gust of wind kicked up dust as a bird of prey somewhere overhead belched an exhausted “skraww,” circling lazily, lifted by rising columns of distorted heat. Blinded, the heel of my boot dragged on the burning asphalt. I staggered and sweat found purchase in my already stinging eyes.
Blinking hard and wiping away the muck, I squinted and peered into the distance at the crossroads before me. To my left, shimmering like a mirage, stood a fast food place about 20 minutes away. To my right, an equal distance away, stood their competition.
My lunch break was only an hour. I’d have to choose wisely. There wasn’t enough time for a second chance. Pick the wrong one and the birds would be in for a tasty snack at my expense.
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Shouts from the Abyss 
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