Tag Archives: esteem

Shouts From The Abyss wins Hall of Fame

golden-poopMEDIA RELEASE

Shouts From The Abyss blog selected to the Shouts From The Abyss Hall of Fame

By Tom B. Taker
November 6, 2013

Abyssia City, The Abyss – After nauseating audiences continually since September, 2009, the Shouts From The Abyss (SFTA) blog is the 2013 selection to the Shouts From The Abyss Hall of Fame. This is the first nomination for the blog. This is the inaugural year for the Hall of Fame itself.

The selection committee, consisting solely of blogger Tom B. Taker, cast the deciding ballot for SFTA. The vote was unanimous.

Blog publisher, Tom B. Taker, was visibility shaken upon hearing the news. “You love me,” he said to himself. “You really love me.”

In a short ceremony in an undisclosed office/bedroom, Taker appeared in his underwear to accept the award. He was accompanied by two cats, El Guapo Picard Tutankhamun Taker and Tilly Taker.

Initially Taker refused the award, stating repeatedly, “I didn’t do it” and referred to his policy that prohibits acceptance of anything imported from Nigeria. He eventually capitulated, though, and proudly accepted the traditional Golden Poop of the Abyss. He then angrily yelled “get out” bringing the festivities to a close. No legitimate media attended the event.

A spokesperson for the Hall of Fame selection committee later announced that the program is being disbanded. Taker will be given 14 days to surrender the award.

Contact

Tom B. Taker, Media Relations
C/O Shouts From The Abyss Hall of Fame
1212 Sewertown Rd. Ste. SQRT(-1)
Office: Food Cart

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A Woman’s Story: An Open Letter from a ‘Fat Chick’ to Mike Jeffries, CEO of Abercrombie And Fitch

I’ve never purchased anything from Abercrombie & Fitch in my entire life. Suddenly that fact pleases me greatly.

LadyRomp

m-AMY-TAYLOR-460x345

Amy Taylor

Director of Content and Community Strategy, Geben Communication

I remember the moment as though it were yesterday (which is saying a lot, because it was nearly two decades ago…) Last week of 8th grade. One of the “popular girls” walked over to me in gym class and asked if she could write in my yearbook. When she handed my book back, I excitedly turned the cover, only to discover that she had written (in beautiful penmanship) the following:

Have a great summer. Stay thin.

Except the word “thin” had been crossed out with a single line.

I have always struggled with my weight. Big-boned. Plus-size. Thick. Curvy. Voluptuous. Padded. Pick your adjective. Over the years I learned to deal with it in different ways. I learned to ignore it. Compensate for it. Deny it. Dress it up. Cover it over. Like everyone who struggles with something physical, I…

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