DIY: Genderproofing Your Home
What? Another DIY post? Wow. I must really be in the mood to be helpful.
Target, apparently a retail establishment that peddles cheaply-made crap (most of it likely sourced from overseas and presumably made with cheap labor) recently announced it was taking down gender-based signage in their stores. The new policy applies to departments like “toys” and “bedding.” Clothes, apparently, still have a long way to go, baby.
The old way of shopping worked something like this:
“Hey, we gotta get a toy for Pat. The kid is having a birthday soon.”
“OMFG! What gender is Pat? Do we even know?! That’s it, man. Game over. Stop your grinnin’ and drop your linen.”
“Whoa. Easy there. Calm down. We know what it is. Pat is currently a boy.”
“Whew. Okay. Close one. Let’s go to Target. We’ll head for the section labeled Toys For Boys. Make no mistake about it. We will not go down the aisle labeled Toys For Girls. No fucking way!”
At the store: “Now these are toys for boys. Get the erector set, Lincoln logs, Army men, flamethrower, truck nuts, 8×10 color glossy of Mike Rowe, a jumbo jar of Rambo sweat, and box of Cuban cigars.”
“Fuckin’ A.”
Now, thanks to Target, you can shop the new way:
“Oh, noes. The ‘boys’ and ‘girls’ signs are gone. Now we’re forced to choose from aisles simply labeled ‘toys.’ What are we supposed to do now? We’re gonna die!!!”
Don’t go sticking your head in an Easy Bake Oven just yet.
One World Border
Coming up with simplistic solutions that solve the world’s problems and really work is kind of my thing. It’s what I do.
Today’s idea is a simple one:
Make all international borders 25,000 miles wide.
This idea can also be represented by a phrase. I like to call it “One World Border.”
What is a border? It’s an arbitrary construct of the human mind. Often based on topographical features like a river or coastline. Well, why not the shape of Earth? That makes a nice topographical feature, too. Since borders live in our imagination we can pretty much do whatever we want with them, if we decide to agree.
How might this work? Think about the United States. It’s a pretty big place yet citizens enjoy the right to travel to any of its 50+ territories without restriction or cumbersome papers. And all citizens, regardless of where they live, are equal in the sense that they share the same basic rights. (Weirdness with so-called “state’s rights” notwithstanding.)
What if the whole world worked like this?
Easy to say. But how to get there? Luckily I planned ahead and brought a map.
Continue reading →
Basket Weaving for Dummies
I apologize in advance if you came here actually expecting information regarding basket weaving. My misleading headline has lead you astray. I sincerely apologize for wasting your time. At least there aren’t 42 self-loading videos on this page. I guess it could have been worse. –Ed
For a fun mental exercise I will often take modern situations and problems and try to extend them, in my own inimitable fashion, to a hypothetical construct in my mind loosely based on my concept and interpretation of an indigenous people’s village.
Does this make good sense? Is it accurate? Does it result in increased understanding of how things work? Is it, in even the slightest way, particularly useful? Perhaps not, but I enjoy it and besides, it’s my brain. That’s the one place on this planet where I get to make the rules. No wonder it’s so crazy in there.
—
One day there was a visitor to the village who observed two people sitting on the ground and weaving some baskets. It was clear they were not equally skilled at the task.
Continue reading →
There is unrest in the forest…
Meanwhile, as an ant on the trail that just got … spored, I guess it’s all a matter of perspective? Damn those spoiled, ungrateful maples. -Ed
The Trees
by Rush
There is unrest in the forest
There is trouble with the trees
For the Maples want more sunlight
And the Oaks ignore their pleas
Continue reading →
Shouts from the Abyss 
Recent Comments