Gunfight Poetry Contest! Win up to $50,000 in cash and prizes!
Like I always say, “Why not both?”
Welcome to the first ever Shouts From The Abyss “Gunfight Poetry Contest.” We are giving away up to $50,000 in cash and prizes! (See official rules.)
Feeling lyrical? Have a flair for communicating big ideas using very few words? You might just win it all! (But probably not.)
We’ve all heard the classic phrase “You don’t bring a knife to a gunfight.” The Sick Puppies even turned that bit of frothy pith into a song. That’s the inspiration for this contest.
Jot down a few clever lines and you could walk away with up to $50,000 in cash and prizes. That’s a lot of scratch.
Here’s how it works:
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Archaeological Institute of Abyss
Our scientists have made an interesting discovery: A hand-scrawled message, on a piece of yellowed and ruled piece of parchment, that we have dated as being approximately 10 years old.
There are a few interesting facts about this artifact:
- The artifact must be about 10 years old because, at the time of her wedding, my wife did, in fact, have a ring. This is proof the parchment predates the wedding.
- I had the prescience of thought to carefully preserve the artifact and keep it safe all this time. I must have recognized the cultural significance.
- No cameras from that time period are known to exist. Perhaps we’ll never know what prompted the author to put pen to paper.
- My wife’s bare finger is simply not that interesting.
Few artifacts from that time period are known to exist. As such we’ll be forwarding the piece on to the Smithsonian, NASA, Martha Stewart or any organization willing to accept it and keep it on display for the public to enjoy. We’re open to suggestions if they all turn us down.
Shouts from the Abyss 
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