A chip off the olé otle
Output from a Culinary Institute of America graduate.
I received a $25 gift card to Chipotle Mexican Grill for a birthday gift. Now I don’t know Chipotle from a hole in the ground but, ostensibly, it still seemed like a reasonable gift. I knew it was a chain restaurant of some sort so I figured I’d get a meal of out the deal.
At the time we’d been in the big city for six months. I had never seen a Chipotle. Luckily, a check of the internet maps revealed there were nine to choose from within a 10-mile radius. We chose the closest and embarked on a big city adventure.
The adventure really took off in the parking lot. It was tinier than a postage stamp’s sphincter and, wisely, allowed cars to enter from both directions at the same time. So I was in a really good mood by the time we entered the eatery. (I will deliberately eschew the word “restaurant” for the remainder of this review.)
Although we waited for a space, a car pulled in and assumed it was theirs, not knowing that we had waited six hours. It was an honest mistake but the angry look on the dude’s face did make for awkward times a few minutes later when they stood six inches behind us in the line.
That brings me to the next feature of this diner: The Line. We walked into the place and the most prominent feature, the thing that really captured your attention was the humans in a queue. I looked at my wife. She looked at me. We shrugged and said the same thing. “Let’s get the hell out of here.”
All in all not a bad first experience.
Continue reading →
Scary Tales: Mansion Lensman
A boy and his Lensman.
A now a true story from the guru archives just because I can…
It’s weird how so many of my father’s interests became interests of mine. A lot didn’t, much to his disappointment, I’m sure, but some stuck. Things like wristwatches (he was a Rolex man), scuba diving (I’m a certified open water diver) and photography. My dad loved his 35mm SLR Pentax cameras. And no, the 35mm is not some lens spec. It describes the type of film that went in the camera.
Back then if you wanted a certain ISO, you had to buy that kind of film. It wasn’t just a setting on some fancy digital piece of electronics.
Eventually I’d have a Pentax of my own, which I still have to this day, although it’s been over 10 years since it was last used.
There was this one time we took our family vacation to Southern California. Among other tourist things we did, we visited a little place called Disneyland and that’s where this scary tale begins…
Continue reading →
Meet a formerly wild and crazy guy
The renaissance man in action back when he was younger, circa 1977
“Just the other day.. I went home with this girl.. and she had the best pussy I have ever seen….
AW CMON!! I was talking about her cat! You people make me sick!
[pause]
That cat was the best fuck I ever had…”
…Steve Martin (admittedly paraphrased by yours truly from memory)
It seems to me like women are all a gaga over Steve Martin these days. Comedian, author, musician, actor, screenwriter, and all-around renaissance man.
Poop on that.
Over 30 years ago I knew a different Steve Martin. One that was cutting edge and on the fringes of good taste. One that told ribald jokes. Yeah!
Then he went all soft and started making movies like “Father of the Bride” and “Cheaper By the Dozen.” Ungh. Admittedly, though, I’ve never seen either one of those movies. You can always pinpoint when someone cutting edge goes soft and gains commercial success, i.e., sells out.
Did you know that Steve Martin was inducted as a “Disney Legend” in 2005? He started working at Disneyland at the age of 10 (after school, on weekends and during the summer). He did jobs like selling programs and dressing up like a cowboy and selling lasso ropes. Later he spent a lot of time hanging around “Merlin’s Magic Shop” in Fantasyland. He learned jokes and practiced magic and made balloon animals.
I guess his status as former employee is why Disney claims him as one of their own.
To celebrate the 50th anniversary of Disneyland, Martin even appeared as a “co-star” with Donald Duck in a movie called, “Disneyland: The First 50 Magical Years.” I can’t help but wonder if he got second billing to a cartoon duck.
I wonder if Disneyland has the joke that started this post enshrined somewhere for all of the kiddies to see?
This post is basically a PSA. I just wanted all of the women in the world to know a little something about Martin’s earlier comedy stylings. Let us not forget the type of comedy he relied upon to make it to the big time. You know, back when he was really cool.
Now Martin has a new softer and gentler kind of comedy he usually employs. Here’s a recent example where he shows off his “atheist hymnal.” It’s cute but not quite like the old days.
Shouts from the Abyss 
Recent Comments