Searching the dark recesses
The internet is pretty good at having information but not always so good at the sharing of it.
“Did you see that video? Thing You Did With A Banana? It was so funny!”
Nope. Never heard of it. Now I feel more left out and more like an outlier than ever before. Well played, internet.
You know what’s not well played? The video itself.
There I was, in my own living room, feeling all dejected because when it came to Thing You Did With A Banana I didn’t even qualify for a participant ribbon. Not only had I never seen it. I’d never even heard of it. Since this is how I measure my worth as a human being I was feeling sad and dejected.
Luckily we recently souped up our home entertainment system with a device that has YouTube built in. I decided to undertake a quest. I was going on a mission to search and destroy.
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Up Side On Side Down Sideways
Tiny Solo Cup. (Great song, too.)
Factoid: In 2010 Americans expended 250 million tons of trash. 93.2 percent consisted of the Solo 2 oz Plastic Souffle Cup.
I often wonder what it would be like to explain certain aspects of my existence to an isolated indigenous person who was totally unaware of the modern world. I have the feeling that even mundane things like money, banks, interest rates, and mortgage-backed securities with post-load risk factors (fully assumable) would be hard to communicate with hand gestures. (Aside from the obvious one, I mean. I have a feeling they could pick that one up pretty quick.)
“You see, Ndugu, this is what we call a storage unit.”
“Meester Tom, what is this place? It is quite strange. I feel we should not be here.”
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Top 10 Coffee Mistakes
Click for Source: seanbonner (Flickr)
Coffee is made in the morning. At least it is in my house you friggin’ crazy idiots. And, being morning and all, we’re not exactly playing our best game. Not quite using all of ye olde “bean,” if you get my drift.
So here are ten early morning coffee mistakes that are common in the Taker household.
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Golf ha ha ha
Woot! I just sucked!
Before we begin, I have to ask: How do you think my headline writing skills are coming along? 🙂
I have no issues with golf, other than it’s boring and it’s a sport. (More on the latter coming soon.)
So today we have a news report regarding two douchebags (golfer Corey Pavin and reporter Jim Gray) arguing about a third douchebag (whoring phenom Tiger Woods). And, get this, their fight is about a fucking game. Not just any game but one where you hit a little ball with a stick and try to get that ball into a little hole.
Pay attention! We’re talking about important shit here, people!
Seriously I don’t know if any of them are douchebags. I don’t know these men personally. I’m taking a little artistic license here based solely on behavior. They all just might be wonderful human beings. (Somehow I doubt it.)
So which one is the liar? Without being there it’s hard to say. It’s one of those douche-said douche-said type of situations.
That’s pretty much all I have to say about this topic. Read the link to the story if you still crave additional details. As always I’m simply performing my function of providing a breath of fresh aire and giving important news items of the day much needed context.
Shouts from the Abyss 
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