How They’re Gaming Yelp
Never underestimate the human desire to game systems. Why expend actual effort when you can “win” by cheating? Because, to the victor go the spoils. Today I’d like to explain one way that business owners go about gaming their reviews.
So there’s this thing called Yelp. They claim to be generally positive system but the dictionary definition of the word “yelp” is: “a short sharp cry, esp. of pain or alarm.” Yeah, baby. Those are my kind of reviews. Let’s go negative and keep it that way. Don’t believe me? Look it up in your own dictionary.
I went to the trendy meat cafe and they served me an elk burger that was oozing blood. That’s how I earned “connoisseur of raw elk meat” on my Twitter profile! And, oh yeah, you better believe I yelped it as soon as I got home.
My understanding is that Yelp frowns on business owners asking for reviews. That’s bad form in a reputation system that’s supposedly driven from a wellspring of organic experiences from normal people like you and me. Normal! Yeah, right.
Here’s how the gaming works:
You place an order on a website. A few days or weeks later you receive a survey request. “How did we do on your recent order?” and what not.
You’ll likely be given the ability to enter some comments and provide a rating. If you give them a good rating, they’ll say thanks and provide a clickable link to the Yelp website where you can enter a review. If you give a bad rating, they only say thanks. No linky for you.
Voila! It’s as simple as that. The system just got gamed. The preliminary survey is nothing more than a sieve to sort the good eggs from the bad. The good eggs are passed along to Yelp and the bad eggs go down the chute. You might think that businesses appreciate negative feedback most of all because that’s vital information to help them improve. You’d be wrong. Why waste time on that shit when you can be gaming the system instead?
This is just one small example of gaming. People in the world of business spend more time thinking about stuff like this than they do on actual products and services. And they’re really good at it. That’s ingenuity.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to nosh on some raw elk. RAWR!
Everyone’s a critic but nobody enjoys being criticized. If you ask me, that’s a fantastic system. P.S. You suck.
Today we’ll explore another fascinating facet of GUNT (Grand Unification Negativity Theory) that offers supporting evidence that every human enterprise is gamed to the Nth degree.
At the Guru of Negativity I happen to love Yelp. (Their politics aside. That’s another story.) Surprised? Think about it. Start with the word “yelp” itself.
yelp: a short sharp cry, esp. of pain or alarm
Yep! The negativity is built right in. Don’t blame me. I’m not the one who named the service. It’s intended to be a place where you share your sharp cries of pain. Now that’s a blight idea!
The Yelp business model is simple. You criticize each other and we’ll make money off it. What could possibly go wrong?
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Survivor: Abyss Island – Day 36 Immunity Challenge
Abyss Island: S1E12 – A Good Day To Cry Hard
And so it comes down to this. Day 36 and only three days to go. I figured my next challenge was going to be for a brand new car! Okay, so I was only slightly off on that score.
With the end of the tunnel now in sight, Survivors have to remain cognizant that challenge difficulty is going to be ramped up. This is where the best of the best truly shine and the people like me go home empty handed.
Tree mail, like always, sounded the just right ominous tone:
At first you won’t be able to see
You won’t think it’s fair, but it is to me
Next you will find it puzzling to see
But the picture will be clear to me
Get it together for all to see
If you lose you will have to submit to me
Oh, great. A blindfold challenge and a puzzle. All the best elements of Survivor. Not. This does not bode well for me. Am I mistaken or does the word “submit” ring out just like the creep duh-duh music from the movie Jaws?
To top it off my wife spent all day taunting me. “Are you practicing, Tom? Big challenge tonight.” Practicing what? Being blindfolded? And how does one practice for a freaking puzzle, smart ass?
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Fall Into Foul Blogs
Perchance I shall hawk Chevy Trucks anon, because my blog is steady as a rock.
Nay! That is not a good thing. Forsooth, a curse lies upon this keyboard, methinks.
There are, perhaps, more blog posts about how to blog effectively than there are American dollars comprising the U.S. deficit. I had come across several of these way back in the beginning and learned that if one wanted to grow a blog, a recommended tactic was updating your blog on a regular schedule.
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