Tag Archives: country

Hyppo and Critter: Rockets’ Red Glare

Hyppo and Critter

Odds of Being Killed by a Banana Leaf

banana-leaf

The China Threat

The Chinese army participates in "digital war games."

The Chinese army participates in “digital war games.”

I’m a webmaster and programmer by trade. Part of my job duties involve administration of the company’s web server. As such, I do my absolute best to block all traffic from China.

Why? Because of the hacking that originates there. There’s not a day that goes by where some automated script isn’t attacking my server, and most of it originates in China. I’m not saying it’s state-sponsored, but on the other hand, there doesn’t seem any official effort to stop it, either. Perhaps it’s a matter of calculated indifference, which I surmise is a close cousin to plausible deniability.

The Great Firewall of China blocks a lot of content from the Chinese people, but it decidedly does not block shit like this aimed at other countries:
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TryThreat

trimet-maxSometimes a negative thought can be eclipsed by an even more negative one. I call this phenomenon “normal reality.” It turns out that negative thoughts are stackable, much like little plastic block toys. Your mileage may vary.

My wife and I are new to the big city. Apparently we have a certain look that tells the outside world, “Listen up! Target these motherfuckers. They are easy prey. They are soft marks. Easy fish to fry. Hit them up with your broken car stories, requests for loose change, and sponsoring sadly unfortunately children around the world for only $7 a week.”

Too bad my math skills alerted me to the fact that “only” $7 a week is the same as $364 a year. Sorry, I don’t have time at the moment to hand over my wallet (and then some) to a perfect stranger no matter how friendly and yet pushy they are.

So we have a look that allows the vultures, leeches and do-gooders zoom in on us like a drone strike on an American citizen peacefully protesting a big bank. I’m not sure what we’re supposed to do about that. Maybe fedoras would function as riffraff repellent and/or pass us off as locals?

Having that look is mostly a pain in the ass but the other day it may have saved us $175. As always, my negativity played a part.
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Fires in the Works

luke-skywalker

It’s all (allegedly) fun and games until something like this this happens. Must satisfy impulses now. Regret can come later.

I am proud to be an American.

BOOM!

Whoa! What the fuck was that? And, more importantly, who’s going to help me change my diaper?

So let me get this straight. You love America, too. And to prove it you’re going to make something go boom boom. Do you mind if I get some background information? Are you the same guy from elementary school who got paper towels wet and threw them into ceiling lights until they blew up? Are you the one who was so fascinated with fire that he set his junior high school locker ablaze? Do you think shooting a gun up in the air is good clean fun? No, no, don’t tell me. Let me guess. All the same guy, right?

Just in case you doubt my cred to discuss this topic, please know that one time I visited the game store where my son the gerbil liked to hang out. Staff regaled with me with stories of my son’s exploits in the back parking lot shooting bottle rockets using his ass as the launch platform. So I think I’m qualified!

In 2012, 60-percent of the year’s fireworks injuries occurred between June 22nd and July 22nd, sending an average of 200 people per day to the hospital. … All six fireworks-related deaths that happened last year involved illegal or homemade fireworks.
–Source: All the Amazing Facts About Your Fireworks Injury (Gizmodo)

Fireworks are a product. I know for a fact that those who make them have a profit motive. What I secretly suspect, however, is that they also hate America and are out to conquer us one body part at a time. Yes, it’s a theory, but it fits the available facts, dammit!

There’s no such thing as a zero error rate in the manufacture of products. Stay with me here. I’m building a logical proof piece by piece (if you’ll pardon the expression). That means some percentage of fireworks legally sold in this country are inherently flawed. Use of those products is, therefore, a calculated risk. Fuck that. I’ll stick with the craps table. I deem that to be an acceptable level of risk, but hey, that’s how I roll. Your mileage may vary.

Some, like me, might argue further that just the existence of the product is an intentional design flaw, but I won’t go there.

I’ll just say, like I am often wont to do, “What could possibly go wrong?” Life is dangerous enough. Why do we deliberately go out of our way to do nonsensical things that have no logical purpose that increase the odds against us? That makes absolutely no sense to me.

At ease, people. Blow ’em up if you got ’em.

BTW, the fireworks we give to youngsters make a lot more sense. Sparklers. So pretty. And what are they? Pieces of metal burning at temperatures up to 2,000 degrees or about as hot as a blow torch.

What could possibly go wrong? (Oops. There I go again.) I can’t understand how sparklers are responsible for 12 percent of reported fireworks-related injuries.

Honey, I Shrunk my Ethics

HoneycombEarlier this month honey made the news. The headlines were ominous.

  • Honey laundering: When honey isn’t really honey (Los Angeles Times)
  • Your Honey Might Not Be the Real Thing, Says New Study (Associated Content)
  • Most honey isn’t really honey (Grist Magazine)
  • Sticky Situation: Most Store Brand Honey Isn’t Honey (AARP News)
  • Contaminated Honey Found In US Market (TopNews Arab Emirates)
  • Honey I Shrunk the Pollen! Honey Processing Masks Illegal Origins (Food Integrity Campaign)
  • Smuggled Honey Makes It To American Stores Under Cover Of ‘Ultra-Filtration’ (Huffington Post)

I decided to take it upon myself to become your tour guide through the complicated buzz of news coverage.

What gives?
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Let us write some Bible

@SNIPER_05-061223-N-1328C-253I’m over a year late on my coverage of this story. Sorry. I just heard about it for the first time.

This is a story that originally broke in Jan. 2010. It’s about a defense contractor that makes rifle scopes used by U.S. soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan with references to Bible verses stamped on the scopes. (Disclosure: Wikipedia reports that the company has since discontinued the practice.)

Chapter 4, verse 6 of the Second Epistle of Paul to the Corinthians reads: “For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.”

So take that, scumbags! We fight on behalf of Jesus Christ. We are holy soldiers.

[The] verse is rendered on tiny letters on the the scopes, made by Wixom, Michigan-based Trijicon, as “2COR4:6” referring to chapter 4, verse 6 of the Second Epistle of Paul to the Corinthians. Source.

The defense contractor, Trijicon, “has a $660 million multi-year contract to provide up to 800,000 sights to the Marine Corps, and additional contracts to provide sights to the U.S. Army,” ABC News reported.

According to Wikipedia, Trijicon is one of the “Top 100 Contractors Report on the Federal Procurement Data System lists the top one hundred defense contractors by sales to the United States military.”

Trijicon also likes their religious beliefs. I found this on their official web site this morning:

Morality
We believe that America is great when its people are good. This goodness has been based on biblical standards throughout our history and we will strive to follow those morals.

Seriously. Who dares to claim the lines between church and state and religion and our military are blurred. Ridiculous!

Trijicon is an American company, based in Wixom, Michigan, that manufactures and distributes optical sighting devices for firearms, including pistols, rifles, and shotguns. They specialize in self-luminous optics and night sights, mainly using the slightly radioactive isotope tritium, light-gathering fiber optics, and batteries. Source.

We make shit that kills people. Praise the Lord!

Long story short, I figured that stuff about “light” was way too tame for a company like Trijicon. We’re talking about exploding someone’s fucking skull with a bullet from 600 to 1,000 yards away. (That’s more than one-third of a mile.) I think we can do better. That’s when I had my idea: A Trijicon biblical writing contest!

“Light upon my scope, oh Lord, grant me the strength for my aim to be steady and true, to smite and vaporize the head of my enemy, in your name.”

“Blessed are the children that spake the Lord’s name with itchy trigger finger, that they shall deliver death unto He most high and behold His kingdom and glory.”

How are your writing skills? Can you improve on these and come up with some of your own? It’s not every day you get to update the Bible!