Apple to change iPhone naming scheme
You might think that Apple is about to announce the iPhone 6 but they have one more surprise up their sleeve before the big day finally gets here. In a move that will stun the uncivilized world (societies with iPhones) they’ll abandon the practice of naming each iteration of iPhones in boring numerical sequence.
Instead, in clever fashion, they’ll use words that sound similar to the numerical scheme we’re all expecting.
Yes, tomorrow they’ll be introducing the iPhone Sex. Siri gets a major and surprising upgrade in this one. Nuff said, I hope.
This will be followed in later years, of course, by the iPhone Heaven. This will be the one time in the history of iPhones that they won’t actually change anything. They’ll just release a new version that’s exactly the same to satisfy the cravings of early adopters.
The iPhone Mate will feature an enhanced personality matrix so you’ll no longer need to bother with the formality of legitimate marriage within the confines of the real world.
The iPhone Spine will usher in a new era of cyborgality with an interface that will make Google Glass look like quaint child’s play. Remember the good old days when technology remained outside of your body?
And, finally, iPhone Hen will exponentially build upon marital aspects originally introduced in iPhone Mate with hyper-realistic calendar reminders and much, much, much, much more. This will also be the first iPhone to incorporate state-of-the-art hammer-resistant technology.
The future for iPhones looks bright but who’s counting?
Hopey changey stuff
Last Saturday night Sarah Palin delivered a speech to a “tea party convention,” whatever that is. The tea party movement, as we all know, is a bunch of Obama-hating right wing conservatives. It was reported that they were even registering people as Republicans right on the floor of this “convention.”
All the talk about the tea party movement being non-partisan and having no leadership and not being tied to any one party is just a smokescreen. When you talk about the tea party movement you are talking about the conservative right-wing and you are talking about Republicans. Just dump all that plausible deniability crap about being “non-partisan,” okay? It doesn’t suit you.
Palin, in her speech, asked the crowd a version of the question I’ve been hearing from rightie wingnuts for the last six months:
As you can see she spruced up the the standard talking point question with her own unique personalized stylings and flair.
“Hopey changey stuff.” Does anyone really talk that way? I mean, really?!?!?
Even someone on the national stage using crib notes sloppily written on her own hand? Really?
That irony was delicious. While she stood there addressing the tea party crowd and criticizing Obama for his usage of teleprompters she had handwritten notes on her hand. ON HER HAND!
Personally I could care less if she had something written on her hand. I wouldn’t cross the street to criticize her for that. But the hypocrisy of criticizing Obama for his teleprompter usage at the same time is simply unbelievably stunning. The phrase “unmitigated gall” comes to mind.
But don’t you dare criticize her for it. Oh no, then of course you’d be one of those people that seem to unfairly nitpick her every move. The kind of person that makes her ask, “Golly gee. Don’t they have anything better to do?” Never mind that she was in the act of nitpicking Obama. That’s different. Nitpick them = good. Nitpick me = bad.
The thing about writing crib notes on your hand is that it seems to me it’s either your habit or it’s not. Personally I’ve never written notes to myself on my own body. Ever. Not even a phone number for a hot woman in a bar. I’d rather go without. 🙂
It seems to me, though, that if you are a famous woman in her mid-40’s writing crib notes on your own hand then chances are pretty good it’s something you’ve probably been doing your entire life. It’s probably a lifelong habit. It’s probably something you learned early and used often, like in elementary school, junior high, high school, in a beauty contest, college, while governor of a state and maybe even while running for vice president of the United States.
And what’s the all-time number one reason for using crib notes in the first place?
Yep.
Cheating.
Now that is something that wouldn’t surprise me one little bit.
Shouts from the Abyss 
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