Where There’s A Will
Stop, gather round and listen!
I find myself thinking about recent comments by George F. Will regarding the topic of rape. Don’t worry. I have a barf bag handy. Thank you for your concern.
First, I have to ponder: How much consideration are you supposed to give comments from a grown man in a bow tie?
In case you missed it, much of the social media world has been in an uproar because Will wrote a piece that implied being the victim of rape and/or sexual assault is now a “coveted status.” (If you’re curious to know more you can google it up. You’ll likely find more information than was lost in the Library of Alexandria.)
For his part, the very next day Will was quippishly waxing poetic that “intellectual whiplash” from “crimson liberals” is an “occupational hazard.” Oh, boo hoo! Yes, he’s saying he’s the pundit equivalent of Emperor Palpatine. “Everything is proceeding exactly as I have foreseen.” And no, these aren’t Will-ish air quotes, these are damn real quotes.
Ah, to be insulted by such a wordsmith. I was going to be offended but then I noticed the elegant use of language. You! Now I’m just happy about it. What an exhibition of rapier-like wit. Why, what a privilege and honor to be skewered by the likes of you!
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Here’s To Your Wealth
Imagine only one human left on Earth. It can even be you, if you want. It can be a pristine Earth free of the ravages of any human stain or it can be an Omega Man-esque utopia with our hardscape marrings left behind.
As that proverbial last person alive, would you be wealthy?
I don’t normally write within the how to or self help genres. But today I am here to tell you how to acquire wealth. Real wealth. And by “real” I mean that which makes your peers weep tears of pain. What other kind of wealth is worth anything?
At this point I should probably make you aware of the EULA for this post: By opening and reading this far you have already acknowledged your consent that our friendly e-commerce nanites have transferred $14.95 from your account. Easy, fast, and convenient. Don’t worry. This is assuredly a premium experience.
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How To React To A Rape Law
The modernized definition of “consent.”
This is a tough post to write. I have a seemingly simple point I want to make and yet I find myself unable to find the right words. This is actually my second attempt to grapple with this topic. It’s not easy.
The first draft got dumped after it went sideways. I guess I just don’t know how to write about the tough issues.
I’ll give it one more try. I’m deliberately going to be brief and less wordy than usual.
One time we were sitting around discussing a new law designed to get tougher on rape. It was one of those impromptu office conversations about news of the day that hopped to a topic that’s normally rather unusual in a business setting.
I no longer remember the specific news item. It was something to do with consent and the definition of sexual assault. But I do remember the reaction of a certain person (and former boss).
“That proposed law concerns me.”
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A Frisky Constitutional
I thought the headline was so hilarious until I found out “constitutional” is decidedly not a word that means “enema.” Dammit!
Still, ever since colonic times we Americans have clung to fiercely held beliefs that we know to be self-evident. (Whew, that was a close one. For a moment there I almost didn’t bring this article down to the proper level.)
I may still be gin treatment but allow me to raise up my Tom Colonic and propose a wee toast:
O say NSA spying on through the night,
And so proudly assailed with your eyesight’s fast scheming,
With broad swipes and little regard to what was right,
O’er the sheeple you watched, and the porn they were streaming?Source: Tom B. Taker, lyricist
As we all know, those rights our founders held so dear were elegantly immortalized in the U.S. Constitution. Except for the stuff they got wrong, of course, like those not “free” being counted as only three-fifths of a person and women not having the right to vote.
I don’t want to hit you with an elementary civics lesson, but we all know the primary function of the Supreme Court Of The United States (SCOTUS) is to chisel away at the rights enumerated in that great document.
In other words, it’s finally time for me to weigh in on NSA monitoring, PRISM and more.
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Tell Tiny Tim I won’t be coming home this Christmas
This is the new me. If you see me walking down the street please stop me and say hi! Photo credit: Tyler Rigby.
This is a post about government logic.
Say it with me, won’t you? Government logic.
I know, I know! That’s an oxymoron. A contradiction in terms. FUBAR. SNAFU. Catch-22. Topsy turvy. The inside-out enchilada. The 2-1/2 double-reverse antithesis with a twist. In essence, it’s shit that doesn’t make sense – can’t make sense – and the understatement of, oh, I don’t know – the last 42.42 trillion years. And I never exaggerate.
Humor me for a moment, won’t you?
So get this. An attorney representing the United States of America stood before the Supreme Court and argued that since the operators of motor vehicles have no expectation of privacy while on publicly-owned roads that, therefore, the federal government should be allowed to plant GPS devices on cars without a search warrant signed by a judge.
Ever want to know what the federal government really wants? Well, there ya go. There it sits! This is the kind of shit that the government thinks is a good idea. So good, in fact, that they are willing to spend resources, time and your tax dollars working on shit like this.
Would it be a great crime-fighting tool? Perhaps. Stop terrorism dead in its tracks? Erm. Probably not. You know, it’s one of those slippery slopes that generally goes like this: If you outlaw cars without GPS then only outlaws will have no GPS.
Or something like that.
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Shouts from the Abyss 
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