It all started when I loaned a friend a hammer. A hammer is a tool typically used for driving metal objects known as nails into various materials like wood. Or so I’ve heard.
For the purpose of this story let’s assume I actually owned a hammer.
If we wanted to (and were sufficiently sick in the head) we could think of this loan as a transaction. The hammer represents the principle, my friend is the debtor and I must be, of course, the bank.
It isn’t too hard to assume my friend is a
debtbeat deadbeat and never returned the bloody thing. Amazingly, even though I dunned him many, many times, and threatened to assess late fees of 1.5 percent on a monthly basis.
Finally that worthless so-and-so left me no recourse. After consulting my voluminous and most accurate
scribbles documentation, I looked up his address and drove across town. I was literally seeing red. My goal? To retrieve the hammer and write the dude off as my friend.
I kicked in his door, tore the place apart, and, having found my precious hammer, I got the hell out of dodge.
The only problem? I made the totally understandable mistake of going to the wrong house. The hammer I repossessed wasn’t even mine. In my defense, it was of similar design. Oops. My bad.
Continue reading →
Get a brain morans
The dictionary tells me that civility is “formal politeness and courtesy in behavior or speech.”
My mother taught me, “If you can’t say something nice then say nothing at all.”
At least to their face. 🙂
All day long these concepts are put to the test. To me, civility is a filter that prevents me from saying what I really feel at that moment in time.
All day long I interact with humans who can be some combination of stupid and/or rude. Again, I keep my trap shut.
Sometimes I’m the customer and I’m still subjected to the nonsense. Even though that’s a situation where I could, most of the time I don’t go off. It actually takes quite a bit to push me to the point where I abandon civility. At least in real life.
I guess you could say I have a “civility tipping point.” Continue reading →