Sneaky Meat
Sure, we can live through an occasional vegetarian meal every now and again. But what if they become too frequent? What happens then?
Worry no longer!
Thanks to an amazing breakthrough by Abyss scientists you’ll never have to find out. Introducing the product that hungry carnivores have yearned for since the dawn of time. Sneaky Meat!
Using our patented Meat Miniaturization Molecularization Methods (MMMM) everyday proteins are hydrogenated, dehydrated, folded, spindlatated and mutilated into delicious stealthy particlized food bits. Perfect for sneak attacks on that next vegetarian meal!
Outflank flavor while maintaining robust, juicy mouthfeel with real meat.
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Puke Of Hurl
Puke, Puke, Puke of Hurl
Puke, Puke, Puke of Hurl
Puke, Puke, Puke of Hurl
Puke, Puke, Puke of Hurl
As I walk through this world
Nothing can stop the Puke of Hurl
And you, the trap you unfurled
And you can so hurt me, oh yes
TWO DAYS EARLIER
I love leftovers. There I was at the fast food restaurant picking up dinner when I had my aha moment. I’ll get extra deep fried things on purpose so I’ll have enough for leftovers in the future.
Eureka.
It would be something, a small thing, that I was actually looking forward to.
Meanwhile, deep in the Pacific Ocean, somewhere over the Great Pacific garbage patch, ominous dark swirling clouds began to form.
PRESENT DAY
It was almost lunch time. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was in a good mood. I was on the way to the kitchen to prep my lunch. The lunch I had been looking forward to for two whole days. There was a bounce in my step as I walked down the hall. I hummed a little song to myself. I paused in the living room and played a game of peek-a-boo with the cat.
In less than five minutes I would be dead.
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Shouts from the Abyss 
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