Wouldn’t you prefer a nice game of Global Thermonuclear War?

Later. Let’s play chess.

Here’s a little post for all you chess buffs out there. It’s an annotated record of an enjoyable game I recently played. Consider it a rare glimpse into the way I think. Even if you’re not a chess geek, hopefully you’ll still find this post interesting. I’ll try to dumb it down a little so most of you will hopefully be able to follow along.

Let’s play!

Tom B. Taker (white) vs. IBM’s* Pompous Purple (black)
2011
Game One

1. e5
White starts the game and immediately threatens a clever “book” opening

1…e6
Holy shit, apparently he’s read that book

2. Nf3
Here I magically “jump” other pieces to intimidate my opponent (but I was hoping to spring that surprise later)

2…Nc6
Damn, he hasn’t pooped his pants yet

3. Nc3
Reap the whirlwind, sucker – you can’t even begin to imagine all of the L-shaped possibilities now

3…Nf6!!
Crap, I’m seriously outmatched – this bastard came ready to play

White resigns
0-1

Mark my words, there will be a rematch. Revenge will be mine! We’ll see how he deals with the Abyssian Offense. That’s my own personal gambit based on body odor, although it usually works best against human opponents in very tight quarters.

* IBM stands for Itty Bitty Machines. Not affiliated with International Business Machines (IBM) Corp.

Chess diagram images were created using the Chess Diagram Generator.