Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Demerit Badges
Boy Scouts of America (BSA), under fire for a policy which prohibits membership for homosexuals, has come up with a jaw-dropping and breathless proposal they feel just might remedy the situation:
“No youth may be denied membership in the Boy Scouts of America on the basis of sexual orientation or preference alone.”
–Boy Scouts of America, excerpt of proposed resolution
Wow! That sounds pretty damn compelling, right? Finally! No more unfair and unfounded criticism for this piece of Americana organization which is a fine and upstanding part of our community and never does anything wrong. This will finally shut up those annoying critics.
Alas, as the rest of the internet has noticed, the proposal only applies to “youth.” Homosexuals are still prohibited from serving as scoutmasters and den mothers.
Oops.
However, something else about the line of text caught my eye. Do you see it, too? I may very well be the only son of a bitch in the universe to have caught on. Aren’t you lucky to know me? Membership has its privileges.
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The Crass Boy Scout
Are you prepared? Here I come!
The cries of “Boycott! Boycott!” echoed from sea to denying sea.
You gotta love a free country.
The owner of a fast food chicken company sponsored a defense of marriage conference. Of course they did. The connection between marriage and chicken is self-evident. He also poured millions of his wealth into groups that oppose gay marriage.
Some who supported gay marriage had a bone to pick and cried out, “We must boycott this place!” I guess I must agree, since I’ve never partaken of the bounty of that particular establishment.
Others decried the boycotters, saying, “It’s crass to boycott based on someone exercising his right to free speech.” So they staged a restaurant appreciation day to show their support. Incidentally, that’s also known as a reverse-boycott. Hypocrites.
After their umbrage faded they regrouped to defend Christmas which was under siege of war. But these loyal foot soldiers of freedom only targeted people who truly deserved to be boycotted, such as businesses that didn’t go out of their way to include their holy phrases in advertisements.
And then I bumped into the boy scouts.
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Family freedoms out of Focus
Focus on the Family spent $3 million on a 30-second TV commercial aired during the Super Bowl. What a colossal waste of money! But I’m glad they did. Some will no doubt say, however, it must have worked, because here we are with bloggers like me still talking about them. Touche.
The ad itself was rather cute. You have little “Timmy” and his mom acting all creepy-lovee cuddly on each other. Ugh. I really don’t care to focus on that kind of family, thanks. 🙂
Some call the mom’s decision to carry Timmy to term “courageous” after doctors told her that doing so could put her life in danger. I call that dumb. When a doctor tells you that something can kill you we all know you go out and do the opposite. If you want to live, that is. What good would it be to her “family” of four other children if she died? What kind of focus on the family is that?
It’s awfully hard to focus when you’re dead.
But we all know how it worked out. She was courageous and had her baby and it all turned out to be fine and dandy. Of course, we never would have heard about her at all if it wasn’t for another American family value: football. Her son grew up to play the all-American position of quarterback and became a Heissman trophy winner. The fact that he likes to paint Bible verses on his face is just an added bonus piece of weirdness.
So, Focus on the Family. Some people call that Christian organization a “hate group.” Just what are the “family” values they espouse? They claim to support “Biblical truths.” How do they do that? I decided I wanted to learn a bit more.
- Focus on the Family was founded and is chaired by psychologist Dr. James Dobson, a man with no formal theological training.
- As a 501(c)(3) corporation, Focus on the Family is not permitted to advocate any individual political candidate. However, the group has a radio program that discusses things like politics and current events from a Christian perspective.
- During the McCain/Obama presidential campaign, Focus on the Family sent a “despicable” letter that said an Obama presidency would, by 2012, result in: “Terrorist strikes on four American cities. Russia rolling into Eastern Europe. Israel hit by a nuclear bomb. Gay marriage in every state. The end of the Boy Scouts.” And all this time I thought I was the Guru of Negativity! I’ve done been out guru’d!
- They support traditional marriage by taking a strong stance against homosexuality and the same-sex marriage movement.
- They would outlaw all “abortion” except when the life of the mother is threatened by continuing the pregnancy.
Isn’t America fascinating? We take this “freedom” thing, organize into our little groups, then, like industrious busy little bees, we spend our time and energies trying to tell each other how to live while we surf our own slippery slopes and attempt to control the freedoms of others based on our values and religious beliefs.
Apparently “family values” is another way of saying you’ll force neighboring families to live by your values.
The right loves concepts like free will and free market right up to the point when some morals written in a religious text get involved. Then they suddenly support governmental control of their neighbors based on their particular flavor of morality.
The funny thing is though, that is the exact opposite of freedom. Go figure.
Shouts from the Abyss 
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