Tag Archives: birther

Birthing some Romney “humor”

Source: LoneWolfMontana (Flickr). Click for original.

I like a good joke as much as the next loser. Of course, usually I am the next loser.

I ask you to consider the image on the right. Is it funny? This picture came up in an image search for the word “humor.” That means somebody out there thinks it is funny.

Humor is a lot like beauty, I think, in that it’s in the eye of the beholder. If your mother is currently in the back of the morgue with her ice cold dead body lying rigor mortis on a slab, I’m going to go out on a limb and suggest that you might not think the sign is so funny. For the rest of us, however, the sign might be funny as fucking hell!

There’s one crucial ingredient about jokes and humor. Do you know what it is? Think hard. This isn’t a trick question.

Oh yeah. The shit has to be funny. Humor without funny isn’t humor at all. I know all about this. Not because I’m funny but because I strive for it and fail. That makes me  a freakin’ expert.

But you know what’s way worse than not being funny? It’s using your non-funny as an lame excuse to attempt to get away with being an ass. Case in point: Willard “Mitt” Romney.

Why isn’t saying “It’s just a joke” a valid defense for spewing just about any old bullshit you want? I’m about to tell you why.
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Killjoy the kill shot (self-inflicted)

Credit: Gage Skidmore

kill shot (noun) – A shot in various games that is so forcefully hit or perfectly placed that it cannot be returned.

The man who would be King…

It’s nice to know that I’m not the only one around who can make bad decisions.

Donald Trump thinks he’s got a shot at being the next President of the United States. He even thinks he’ll earn the GOP nomination. And, if not, he says he’ll “probably” go it alone as an independent.

I submit the facts in the previous paragraph are evidence enough that the man is not capable of making intelligent decisions, and is therefore not qualified for the job. It is bound to please comedians across the country, though. It’s a gold mine of material!

Curious, I looked for polling data and found this:

A new survey from Newsweek and The Daily Beast indicates President Obama is ahead of Trump by only two percentage points, 43-41, well within the poll’s sampling error of plus or minus 3.5 percent. In fact, Trump fares far better against Obama than Sarah Palin, who would lose to Obama by 11 points, 51-40, according to the poll.

Trump also performs roughly as well as former presidential candidate Mitt Romney, who is 2 points behind Obama in the survey, 49-47 percent. Mike Huckabee, another former presidential candidate, does best against the president in the poll: both are tied at 46 percent. (CNN.)

Of course, this far out, those numbers are almost meaningless, and will no doubt change many, many times during the lead up to election day.

When I think about Trump, I wonder about his motives. Who wants the job of POTUS and why? With him, the only answers I can see related to publicity and celebrity, and that’s just not good enough.

My naive political analysis? A Trump campaign could sully the Republican field with a lot of mud slinging and negative campaigning. I can’t imagine what skeletons Trump might have, but if they are there, I’ll bet they are good ones and they will come out. And I’m sure he can and will fling poo right along with the very best of them. The whole scenario could play out quite favorably to Obama.

At least Trump doesn’t have to worry about birth certificate issues. Like me, he was hatched. And right here, right now, I’m going to make a prediction. People who come out against him will come to be known as Trumpers. You heard it here first, folks!

Either way, come election day, I’ll take a pass on The Donald, thank you.

This is my “K” post for the April 2011 “A to Z Blogging Challenge.”

Last minute Halloween costume ideas

Halloween costumesI was going to do so much more with this post, but time runs short, so here it is, like it or not. This post may have been rushed to market but at least it was handcrafted in the USA!

Birther. Costume: Flag lapel pin. Accessories: Kenyan passport, seal embosser, AK-47, and a copy of Glenn Beck’s book “Arguing With Idiots.”

Prepper. Costume: Radioactive protection suit. Accessories: AK-47, canned foods, portable radio.

Truther. Costume: Flap lapel pin. Accessories: Tin foil hat, AK-47.

Swine Flu Virus. A costume based on a disease can be tricky to pull off. Creativity is a must. If you figure it out, let me know. Perhaps it looks a lot like the Mucinex cartoons on TV?

Heidi Dejong BarsugliaEnergy Industry Lobbyist. (Heidi DeJong Barsuglia pictured.) You have to admit that the traditional costume for whore or prostitute is old and busted. But a costume based on someone who looks like this and who is employed as a lobbyist by the energy industry to sleep with politicians, well, that brings renewed hotness to the genre and makes this a trend-setting costume for young girls everywhere to crave. Barsuglia is one of the two lobbyists that California Assemblyman Mike Duvall claimed to be porking, his bragging about which was caught on tape.)

Katherine HarrisKatherine Harris. Accessories: Make up is a must. Lots of it. And hairspray. For bonus points: Knee pads and a hammer and chisel. Warning: This costume is intended for advanced users only due to the extreme fright factor. You have been warned. Mwuhahaha!

Happy Halloween!

Hey Kiddies! Here are some extra last minute quickies. Remember, have fun and be creative!

Terrorist : Somali Pirate : Teabagger : MLB Player on Steroids : Political Talk Show Host : Rapper : Balloon Boy : Jon Gosslin : Zombie Michael Jackson : Jon Gosselin: Flava Flav

Dropping hip new lingo for our modern times

Moon plaqueSeems like every time I take the time to blink there is some new word or phrase that I have to catch up with. It can be downright crazy. I think the urge to create new words is just another form of labeling. It satisfies the human urge to categorize, especially when it comes to putting people into neat, tidy little boxes. We like it when we can think of things they way we feel they should be, which can sometimes be inconveniently divorced from reality. Ultimately it’s just another insult and method for putting down people who don’t agree with you.

I thought I’d take a little time and see how many of these new words I can list.

Birthers – These are the folks who say that Obama’s Hawaiian certified copy of live birth is fake and/or Hawaiian officials are part of a conspiracy and/or Obama’s gradma watched him being born in Kenya and/or Obama has some sort of weird dual citizenship issue that precludes him from being president, etc. Interestingly enough there are several competing factions who produce their fraudulent documents and file their lawsuits and don’t trust fellow birthers with wierdo variant theories. But that doesn’t stop some from still believing these theories. Thus they have earned the proud name of “birthers.”

Preppers – Some people who believe the end of the world is near so they are busy stocking up on guns, ammo, food and survival supplies. I can’t help but wonder, though, what good will any of that crap serve if the world does actually end??? You can’t take it with you, right?

Truthers – Also known as the “9/11 Truth Movement” these are people who think that the government had something to do with the attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon and that the “mainstream” media has failed to report the real truth of what actually happened that day.

Deathers – These are folks who are anti-Obama and anti-health care reform. They believe that health care reform will result in mass euthanasia of the elderly and other people as a viable method of making the plan cheaper. Less people alive means less money spent on health care, right? I guess the most famous deather of all would have to be former Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin who worked so hard to make “death panels” a household phrase.

Warmers – Idiots who refuse to accept the massive “truth” that global warming is the biggest lie of all time have earned this appellation. Global warming may very well be one of the most complex theories of all time, one that is completely unprovable by mere humans, and, unlike some claim, there is no clear consensus of scientists one way or the other, so let’s insult the other side by putting them down with this particular label.

Get a brain moransTeabaggers – Damn them for perverting this once wholesome term. This group of folks doesn’t like the direction our country is heading and they have wisely concluded that if it worked once in Boston, heck, it’ll probably work again. They busy themselves making protest signs, sporting shirts that say things like “revive the revolution” and quoting Thomas Jefferson: “The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants.” Blood? Revolution? Are you actually threatening our country?

Thrown Under The Bus – This phrase earns a lifetime achievement award for longevity. The phrase has actually been around for a while but really got legs during the 2008 presidential campaign. Since then usage his hit titanic proportions. As someone thrown under the bus on an almost daily basis, I can vouch for it!

Can you think of any others I forgot? Pound that comment function and tell me all about it.