Tag Archives: big mac

Sorry Miserable Squashed Thing

thickest-burgerThis post is multi-media-yo. I’m about to explode some special sauce in your direction. Yum-o!

It all started with the Big Carl from Carl’s Jr. No, I’ve never eaten one. I don’t have that kind of free time. But it did get my creative juices flowing.

I saw the “Big Carl” on TV and it was bragging about being bigger than a “Big Mac.” I was curious so I googled it. That’s when I found The Website. Quite likely one of the most glorious things I’d ever seen.

This dude wanted the truth. He went and exploded the scientific method on that shit. He weighed them. He tested. He did comparisons. It is one of the funniest websites I’ve ever read and it cut through the bull in an attempt to answer the question: Companies wouldn’t lie in a television commercial, would they?

He tried his best, but in his laboratory the Big Carl just didn’t measure up. He even enlisted the help of a Carl’s Jr. manager but the dufus wouldn’t play along. “A customer wants our burger served without wrapping of any kind? And on their own plate? I think that violates corporate policy.”

You have got to see how this turns out.

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All You Can Meat

big-mac-attack.jpg

Close-up view of Pete's colon. Tagline: Just when you thought a colon would stop at 41 pounds of processed meat...

What happened in Vegas didn’t stay in Vegas. It got pooped out in my home town…

I know this guy. And no, just this once, that isn’t code for talking about myself. Let us call him Pete.
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