Tag Archives: bejeweled

Candy Crushing

By Tom B. Taker on | 10 Comments

candy-crushHey, have you heard the latest? There’s a game called Candy Crush Saga for your handheld device.

Behold! I give you the ultimate evil in the galaxy!

I installed the damn thing once. By doing so I think I earned a few “Dino bucks” in my dino wranglin’ game, but that’s another story.

I opened the game and played a level. I found the motif totally inane and annoying. The game itself was vapid and uninspired. I said to myself, “Hey, self! Isn’t this game just a rip-off variation of those 42 million other games where you match and line shit up so more shit will fall down?”

I promptly deleted it from my device. What a stupid piece of shit, I thought. Luckily I’ll never have to hear of it again.

Wrong!
Continue reading →

Posted in: editorial, fail, opinion | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Facebook nirvana and tidbits

By Tom B. Taker on | 13 Comments

A team of experts attempts to determine a method of making Facebook useful

I recently learned two wonderful things about Facebook. Yep. Pick yourself up off the floor and read on…

Nirvana #1
The first was that you can go “offline” as far as Facebook chat is concerned. I hate popping into my Facebook for a quick peek and having chats start coming in. Now is not a good time, people!

Fixing it to hide your online status was pretty easy. Click the little chat box in the lower-right corner of the page. Then click “Options” in the window that opens up. Then click “Go offline.” Woot! No more being hijacked into chat!

Nirvana #2
I looked high and low for a way to turn off “application” notices on my wall. I was absolutely sick of them. I could fucking care less about shit like:

  • Brandi found an extra part to build a Super Stove!
  • Desireé has made a deal with The Collector to supply their friends with a free Collector Mystery Box in Vampire Wars.
  • Marilyn reached level 5 in Be-Jeweled Whore.
  • Bambi is sharing some savory, sweet and sour Tom Yum Goong!
  • Candy needs the Sushi Sign Decor.
  • Lexi gave birth to a jackal in Farmville!
  • Sarah commented on her status. (She’s interested in herself? Egomaniac!)

Make it stop!!! Make it stop!!!

So I found out that if you hover over one of these so-called “announcements” a little button labeled “Hide” will become visible. Click it and you will be given the opportunity to block all future messages from that particular application in the future. Bingo! Facebook just improved a little bit.

Unfortunately I haven’t been able to find a way to block application messages on a global scale, so I’ll have to keep individually crushing these cockroaches under my boot heel one at a time.

Tidbit #1
A mother is being charged with harassment after her 16-year-old son decided to press charges for her hacking his Facebook account and posting messages. Read more.

Tidbit #2
A Facebook ban on pictures of breastfeeding has angered mothers. Let’s add a new word to our lexicon now. “Lactivists.” Read more.

Tidbit #3
You won’t see Shout Abyss on Facebook any time soon. I was going to create a page for my blog but they require real names. You’ll have to learn to live without me on those “social networking site.” Ha! Mwuhahaha!

Conclusion
Isn’t Facebook fun? How did we ever live without it?

Posted in: fail, ftw | Tagged: , , , , , , ,