She Shoots! She Bores!
Getting ready to bore you.
I used to live in a small rural conservative town. Against impossible odds a few dozen acres of prime real estate were somehow exempted from feverish development for a “sports park.” The community took understandable pride in what they had built: a crowning jewel featuring baseball diamonds, fishing ponds, soccer fields, tennis courts, volleyball and more.
Finally the local amateur sport leagues had a place where they could shine and participate in the time-honored activity of athletic competition. The facility was promptly used as a means of gender-based oppression by giving all the best time slots to the boy leagues. Girl leagues were relegated to sloppy seconds.
Thanks for playing.
Star Wars: Seventh Heaven
“Basically there’s going to be two Death Stars,” Abrams said. “They symbolically represent your testicles which will be snipped by the end of the film.”
Warning: I am about to bitch about Star Wars. This in no way should be construed as an inference I will not see the film. Of course I’m going to see the bloody film. They can shit on a plate and call it steak jarjare for all I care and I’m going to lap it up. I have as much chance of boycotting the film as a heroine addict has of telling his supplier to go to Hell. Even with Disney at the helm fairy tales do have their limits.
“Always two there are. A filmmaker and a sucker.” I’d be the latter.
Here’s my $42. Take it. I feel pathetic enough. You don’t have to rub it in. Just let me in and soon I’ll feel dirtier than Luke Skywalker in a trash compactor scene. I’m pathetic. I’m scum. No, scratch that. I’m rebel scum. I’m lower than a Denebian tick on a swamp rat on Degobah.
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Netflix Extracted My Balls #netflix #balls
Seriously. I mean, why even put words here? There’s no need to hook you in the cheek and reel you in until you drop on the deck and flop like a fish. The subject line speaks for itself, right? The simple fact is: The subject line worked. You’re already here. Game over.
Once again I had to take it on the chin from Netflix. Netflix is The Evil. And for those tedious little nits keeping score, yes, I used the words “balls” and “take it on the chin” in the same post. This shit is cutting edge. If that doesn’t prove you are in the presence of true quality I don’t know what will.
Let us dispense with the pleasantries and get right to the motherfucking point. Make the jump to push play on this internet appliance.
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Shouts from the Abyss 
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