Man To Man?
A wise person once said, “I feel in need of a long, hot shower.” Yep, that’s the most recent comment on this blog as I sit down to work on this post and a fitting way to start. Yesterday’s topic decidedly left me wanting the same.
The key word in the opening statement is “hot.”
Q. What goes in the toaster?
A. Bread, you idiot.
Q. Do you sell any hot water heaters?
A. No, you idiot. You don’t need to heat water that’s already hot.
Ah. So we’ll need a water heater if we want our shower to be nice and toasty.
We’ve lived in the big city for eight months now. During that time the hot water has had a rosy hue. Kind of the like the candy apple red on the car in the movie Corvette Summer starring Mark Hamill. We’ve been showering in rust.
The water heater, circa 1985, was almost 30 years old. My wife finally convinced the property management company to put in a new one. They were sending over their man to install it.
The big day came and I listened out of the corner of my ear, working on my computer, safely ensconced in my office, as my wife met the guy and they set about the task. Everything seemed to be going fine.
Until…
I went to the kitchen to get a refill on my coffee. The man saw me. Oh shit.
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How the web was won (is makes me smarter)
Would it be surprising if I told you that I’m shorter in person than I appear on the blog?
Somehow I doubt it.
It turns out that the blog world and the “real” world (for lack of a better term) are decidedly different places. I guess you could say they number among the many stages where I play many varied roles.
In similar fashion, some real life folks (damn them) might not feel I’m as erudite in person as I seem to appear on the blog.
Imagine you are face-to-face with someone and engaged in conversation. Let’s assume that the other person is actually willing to stop talking long enough to let you speak and listen to what you have to say. (Hey! This is my hypothetical. I can make it as outrageous and unrealistic as I want.)
Further, let’s say you are expounding on an utterly fascinating topic of great import to the entire universe. Your strangely attentive companion is hanging on your every word. Wow, situations like this don’t just grow on trees!
In that sort of scenario, what is the one thing you cannot do?
I suggest it is this: Control-T (to open a tab) to a new dimension and look up an elusive word in the dictionary.
Yet, when writing a blog or composing a tweet, I often find myself doing exactly that to help plug some leaking hole in my brain. I realized that it just might make me look smarter than I really is.
So I just wanted to take time out of my day to say thank you to the series of tubes, the internet, the internat*, WordPress, and even Twitter and so forth for making me look smarter (and taller) than I really is in the real world. I owe you one, guys. Just don’t ever ask me how to pronounce one of those words I’ve looked up. That’s the exact moment when the whole house of cards takes a tumble. Laws, yes.
* I received a package from the “internat” the other day. I know this because it said so right on the box!
Shouts from the Abyss 
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