Tag Archives: affluenza

Breeder Outrage

Artistic rendering of "stabby."

Artistic rendering of “stabby.”

Note: Hippie Cahier proactively assisted with a single instance of grammar in this post. The remainder of errors are, as always, solely my own. -Ed.

A teacher quipped on Twitter one day that her students made her feel “stabby.” Outraged parents, obviously, well-provisioned with torches and pitchforks, demanded that her head be removed and braised like an oxtail and served on a silver platter as a delicate amuse-bouche at the next school board meeting. Now that is justice deliciously served!

Yeah, that sounds like an appropriately-measured response. Because, yeah, I’m so sure they’re all such wonderful people and perfect parents to boot.

Fact: On average, Americans shop six hours a week and spend only 40 minutes playing with their children.

Source: PBS.org – Affluenza

In the world of social media umbrage, judgement can be swift and final. Make an ill-advised joke before boarding an airplane and by the time you land your employer may have already knee-jerk terminated your career. That must have been a really good joke. (I’m not attempting to evaluate the social content of the joke here.)

Sometimes the target of ire may really “deserve” what they get. I guess in some cases the downside of not waiting for actual facts can backfire. Oops. Too bad, so sad. At least you got your 15 minutes of notoriety, right?

Continue reading →

Up Side On Side Down Sideways

Tiny Solo Cup. (Great song, too.)

Tiny Solo Cup. (Great song, too.)

Factoid: In 2010 Americans expended 250 million tons of trash. 93.2 percent consisted of the Solo 2 oz Plastic Souffle Cup.

I often wonder what it would be like to explain certain aspects of my existence to an isolated indigenous person who was totally unaware of the modern world. I have the feeling that even mundane things like money, banks, interest rates,  and mortgage-backed securities with post-load risk factors (fully assumable) would be hard to communicate with hand gestures. (Aside from the obvious one, I mean. I have a feeling they could pick that one up pretty quick.)

“You see, Ndugu, this is what we call a storage unit.”

“Meester Tom, what is this place? It is quite strange. I feel we should not be here.”
Continue reading →

Happiness Hypochondria

Keys to HappinessThis A-Z Blogging Challenge is kicking my ass. Once again I find myself sitting at the computer, facing a blank page, and I got nothing. So hang on for yet another dose of what I like to call Blog Improv. Yes, another quality post brought to you in nine minutes or less. That’s my commitment to you.

Seemingly never satisfied, I’m also taking the blogging challenge to a whole new level. I’m inventing something called the “AA to ZZ Blogging Challenge.” This challenge lasts 676 days long. It’s just as simple as the A-Z challenge – but lasts just a bit longer. Only this time, you start with AA and work your way through all possible two-letter combinations. AA, AB, AC, and so on, all the way to ZZ!

Who’s with me??? 🙂

These last few years since I started blogging I’ve found myself feeling a bit poorly, under the weather, and even a skosh less than fully optimistic. Hard to believe, I know. I try really hard to silently carry that burden with my own quiet dignity.

So yesterday I went to the doctor. Alas, I was hit with some very bad news!!!

Doctor: “I’m afraid I’ve got some very bad news. Your test results have been confirmed. There can be no mistake.”

Me (crying): “Oh my God! What have I got?”
Continue reading →