Tag Archives: act

Fixing Social Security in a Fair Way

Image source: Punch Debt in the Face

Image source: Punch Debt in the Face

Yes, yes! To Guru-San you listen. The debt! Remember your failure with the debt!

So yeah, I’ve got the solution that fixes Social Security. The whole thing. Once and for all. The big enchilada. And it does it in a fair way, too.

To those with 10% approval ratings I say, “Stop fiddle-farting around and pass my legislation. Stat!”

Allow me to introduce the Frozen Unilaterally Contributions Kablooey Act of 2013.
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A rose by any other name

The No Child Left Behind Act did exactly what it said it wouldn’t do. It created a system that was gamed by some to the detriment of our kids.

The Clear Skies Act reduced air pollution controls, including those environmental protections of the Clean Air Act, including caps on toxins in the air and budget cuts for enforcement.

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Presidential promise breaking can make you sick

Vector Man doesn't take orders from his archenemy, Dr. Government!

As Vector Man, you might say that I’ve made being a vector a meme on on my blog. It’s a topic I mention more often than, say, drinking Starbucks coffee (maybe once a year), so I certainly feel that makes the subject blog-worthy.

Here’s a quick refresher for the newbies:

an organism (as an insect) that transmits a pathogen

It is Vector Man’s solemn duty to work when ill to increase the odds of passing along illness to other humans. It’s a thankless job but someone has to do it. And Vector Man takes his superpowered duties very seriously. Sure, I don’t have a catchphrase yet, like Dr. Horrible. (I’ve got a PhD in horribleness.) But I’m hopefully my application to the Evil League of Evil will still be accepted.

How about, “Always keep your flu open!” Or maybe, “Be loyal, true and stay on the right pathogen!”

Meh. I’ll keep at it.

Vector Man's little buddy and loyal sidekick: H1N1

Of course, every superhero has his weakness. For Superman it is kryptonite. For Seattle-based Phoenix Jones it is reality. And, sadly, for Vector Man, it is a mythical entity known only as The Paid Sick Day.

Once, a presidential candidate known as Barack Obama promised to create more of these sick days and do away with Vector Man once and for all! Luckily he failed.

Here’s the history of how Vector Man survived:

In the time when Obama campaigned to become president, he made a promise:

Require that employers provide seven paid sick days per year – which may be taken on an hourly basis – so that Americans with disabilities can take the time off they need without fear of losing their jobs or a paycheck.

Source: “Barack Obama and Joe Biden’s Plan to Empower Americans with Disabilities.”

Strangely enough, no federal standard for this sort of thing yet exists. I’ve got an idea! Let’s leave it up to small business owners and see how often it actually happens. I’m giving four-to-one odds. Any gamblers out there?

According to the website PolitiFact, however, that promise is now listed as “broken.” Obama had specifically proposed that employers would be required to provide their workers with seven paid sick days annually.

A proposed bill called the Healthy Families Act contained the specifics. The idea was that employees would earn one hour of paid leave for every 30 hours worked. For an employee with a 40-hour work week, that would be seven days of sick time for every 1,680 hours worked (capped on a yearly basis). The general idea was that workers could use this time when ill (as the CDC seems to think is a good idea), care for a dependent, or recover if they are a victim of domestic violence.

In the run-up to the 2010 midterm election the GOP promised to review any laws that impose additional costs to employers. The seven paid sicks days guaranteed by the Healthy Families Act fits into that category.

Having to pay workers for seven additional days would result in a rise in cost to employers. Such an extra cost could lead to companies hiring fewer additional workers, and Republicans have said they want to reduce government regulation on employers, not add to them. Given these political realities, we rate Obama’s promise as Broken.

Source: PolitiFact

I don’t image there are any “costs” associated with spreading illness and disease as far and wide as possible, eh?

Of course, as usual, government regulation merely represents the bare minimum  that employers must do. For example, without something like the Healthy Families Act, they could still implement a plan like this, but, mwuhahahahaha! Why the fuck would they ever do that? That would cost them money, you know, the money they deny the employees who actually did the work. Remember what Vector Man likes to say, “Never share anything you can keep yourself – unless it is a virus, of course!”

Hell, the plan wouldn’t even have applied to business with 15 or less employees. They always include an escape clause, don’t they?

So heed the words of Vector Man and promise to do your part: I will work when ill! And I’ll touch as many things as possible – phone, stapler, doorknobs – and I’ll cough and sneeze without covering my mouth. If anyone asks why, tell them, “I’m helping Vector Man save the day!”

Your hard-working nation will thank you for it! And that’s nothing to sneeze at!

The Sex Abacus

Do not touch - might be sticky

Unless I miss my guess, today’s post is another milestone for the blog. This is the first time ever the word “sex” has appeared in subject line. How did I ever survive without it? Bring on the traffic!

The other night I took a buddy out for drinks. He needed someone to talk to about his marriage. When I offered, he asked, “Are you sure? I’m going to unload some pretty serious shit.” I assured him I was ready and up to the challenge, and I prepared myself for an evening of remaining in listening mode and not blathering on about myself, like how my life sucks and how I can’t seem to find a good job. In other words, I was going to try really hard to act like someone else.

Over a pitcher of beer and hot wings he related some issues in their marriage. There were several and they pertained to some of the usual suspects like sex, money and work.

Along the way he made a passing comment I found intriguing. He said, “And tonight I’m going to get me some [insert very specific sexual activity here] tonight. She owes me.

Eh, what???

Immediately I thought of an abacus. Or a ledger. Or some accounting system for the bedroom to keep track of who owes what. What an odd concept. Apparently my buddy is a sexual abacist.

“Remember the other day I let you eat a bacon double cheeseburger? Tonight I will enjoy some mandatory repayment in the form of a Kentucky Derby with a Twist.”

“I allowed you to buy that fancy dress in the store window. Next week I’m going to be expecting a little Aurora Borealis, if you know what I mean.”

Yeah, I’m trying to invent my own “clean” sexual terms here like the young kids do these days. I’m not very good at it.

So, anyway, it turns out his wife “owed” him because she lost some kind of bet and he was going to cash in that chip for a certain kind of sex. Apparently it’s a kind of sex that he likes, she doesn’t, and therefore he doesn’t get that often.

And it occurred to me, “I can’t imagine why they have problems in their relationship.” What a shocker, right?

I think love is important to a marriage, and should be about things like kindness, compassion, and affection. A balance sheet, especially in the bedroom, feels out of place.

I listened to my buddy as best I could, and sometimes I saw his points regarding the various issues  and sometimes I didn’t. But I couldn’t help but keep thinking about that abacus. I suspect it represents the true danger to their relationship.