Monthly Archives: November, 2015

Guru Comic: War on Christmas

guru-christmas

The God #Wine

jesus-was-hereI’d like to start with a risky disclosure. [deep breath] Okay! Here goes! Hang on tight, this is going to be one hell of a ride.

In real life I’m not that entertaining.

I know, right?!

I have an analytical personality, specifically “INTJ” aka The Architect which includes, among other things, this telling description: “One Reflects More When Traveling Alone.”

Hella.

As an analytical type, I’ve often gotten into trouble in social situations after being asked a question, especially when I’m not prepared. A question stimulates my brain into “pondering mode” and my face goes blank in the same way as a computer that has been tricked by Captain Kirk.

To the person asking the question, I’m told, this comes across as rude. (Whatever the hell that means.)

(128 words in and the H-bomb has already been dropped three times in a post containing the word “God” in the subject line. Is this guy good or what? -Ed.)

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The Scoop of Poop

Source: Rones. OpenClipArt.org.

Source: Rones. OpenClipArt.org.

Somewhere out there, in the world, is a person I hate. I’ve never met this person, but I hate him or her just the same. I do not allow the fact that I don’t know the person’s identity to slow me down.

I know what they did. That’s enough for me.

It all started and ended (literally) when my wife brought home a cat.
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Happy Holidays from the Abyss

Abyss Christmas

Rare first edition misprint containing the word “Christmas.” Mint in package. Because who would open that shit?

I recently updated by bio to include “singer” and “songwriter.” My dishonesty is your pain. This is where you pay for tuning in.

Behold, the newest member of the Abyss family. A humble little ditty called “My Christmas Song.” Be advised: You should not listen to this.

Fun fact: I was channeling Burl Ives when I laid down the vocal tracks.

Now please enjoy this, my gift to you. It’s the gift of time in the form of one minute of your life you’ll never get back.

Happy holidays!

To Boldly Not Go: Everything you need to know about the new Star Trek series

aggro-gatordotcom32938It was announced today that Star Trek is coming back to the small screen in 2017. Yes. Finally. A new Star Trek series. That’s exciting news. But wait. What’s the catch?

CBS.

Mothafukas! So much for that shit.

My operatives have obtained the writer’s and director’s guide for this new series including an advance copy of the script. This humble blog is the exclusive source for this information on the internet.

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